In February, ENCM helped out in the prom night in Quezon City Science High. I was sure it was going to be fun, QueSci being my high school is just an added bonus. It was amusing to get flashbacks of everything (or a lot of things, anyway) that happened in my prom nights.

Like, the time I spent designing my prom dress (the majority of which, I only stared at the blank sketchpad page in front of me), our adventures in Divisoria (the majority of which, I got dizzy over the myriad of rolls of cloth), cotillion rehearsals, and the prom itself. Haha! The prom itself.

I still remember when one of our cotillion guys got Coke spilled all over his shirt. It was partly my fault, and it was indirectly partly my fault... The serving spoon for the rice had a biggest part in it though. And, of course, I'll never forget the look on Oscar's face when the waitress behind him accidentally spilled a tray of ice cold orange juice on him. Goodness. I think he had an extra shirt then, so that was good.

Anyway, back to February 2007. As I stood there along the staircase, trying to maintain order among excited high schoolers and proud (and even more excited and...paranoid) camera-weilding parents, I couldn't help notice the ever-important prom dresses. The designs have DEFINITELY changed a lot since my time... Err...yeah. That sentence totally made me feel old.

*ahem*

Yup, they've changed a lot. If you took present-day prom dresses and wore them in 2001, everyone would probably think you're a weirdo still living in the 80s. (Sorry for the brutal comparison, but...there's really no denying that the 80s are back.) They'll probably raise eyebrows at the bright color combinations, and the oh-so-many layers of chiffon under your gown. Admittedly, I had several layers of chiffon under my senior prom dress, but not like what they have on today.

Now, don't get me wrong, it's not that I'm criticizing the current designs. I actually LIKE the current designs, thanks. I'm just pointing out the differences here.

Actually, my prom dresses were pretty simple. Pretty and simple. I originally based them on the ones some anime characters were wearing, but I eventually gave up on that and had my brother help me. I only looked at magazines then, but nowadays, you can buy cheap prom dresses online, or get ideas from those sites. Yes, yes, I know it's a bit too late for that (in the Philippines, anyway), but maybe you can use this tip for next year? Or you can get ideas from that site when you're designing the dress you'll be wearing for your cousin's wedding or something.

The night ended up being a blast. Not only did I get to help, I was able to party with the high schoolers I was tutoring. And I think I made a handful of my teachers feel old when they saw me. Haha!

Monday, April 10, 2006

Amazing Race UPLB

"Sarah, get your manuscript today. Deadline of clearance is 12 noon."

Oh, lookie. Again, I got a deadline notification ON the deadline. Four freaking hours from the deadline.

Great. Perfect. Fabulous. Superbly wonderful.

I had been told that the deadline of clearance was during this week. I guess I must have misunderstood or something. I was also told to wait for my adviser to give me the go signal to have my SP hardbound. So I guess this is my go signal, huh?

From the starting line, take a jeepney to Quezon City Circle. From there, take a CUBAO IBABAW bus, and get off at the HM station to get to UPLB.

I got to Los Baños at exactly 12:00 noon. But I still had a few minutes of travel to do to get to ICS. "It's fine," my adviser said. "I talked to Ofel. Just go to my office."

Hokay...

We discussed my manuscript, and it turns out that I still had MAJOR revisions to do. As in MAJOR. And I had to finish that by tomorrow.

Uh... Did I mention that I had to have this hardbound, and that I didn't have a house (and PC) here in LB?

After talking to 'the adviser', go to the College Secretary's Office to get a clearance form. Go by foot and have it signed by all the department heads within the College.

Battle plan:

From IMSP, go to INSTAT and the Institute of Chem. Then cross Oble's island to get to NCAS. Have your clearance signed in HUM and Department of Social Sciences. Go to the back exit and cross the street to get to BioSci.

Then, walk in the scorching heat to the library. Don't forget to say hello to the Pegaraw.

From there, go around to the back of the library and cross the bridge. Don't look down, by the way.

Climb the steep road to get to the University Health Service. This will take about 10 minutes, and about a gazillion beads of sweat. Say hi to Maria Makiling.

From the UHS, ride a jeepney down the über steep road, and get off at Baker Hall (DHK). Walk towards the neighboring building of the Office of Student affairs.

From there, walk (again) to the administration building to pay the graduation fee.

Walk (what else?!) to the internet shop to cool off and start your revisions on the manuscript. This will be your pitstop for this leg of the race.

-----------

Sarah's comments: Did I mention that I did all this alone? And that the sun is, like, VERY cruel?! Argh. I would have appreciated the campus tour on any other day, but come on.

Thursday, March 30, 2006

The Graduate

So I'm not in the mood to write right now, despite the fact that it is Maaya's birthday -- oddly, I'm usually hyper and genki on this day of the year -- but I'll try.

-----------------------------------------------

Date: Monday, March 27, 2006
Time: 7:20 p.m.
I send a text message to my prof, asking her if she received the email I sent her the weeks before. She says "No. Remind me tomorrow."

Now, this I found weird. Either (a) there was an error during the data transfer, or (b) she didn't check her email regularly. I thought that (b) was impossible because (1) she was a computer science teacher so email is a vital part of life, (2) she has unlimited internet access in her office, so she should check her email, and (3) I told her weeks before that I sent the email.

So something must have gone wrong in cyberspace.

Yes, that must be it.

Date: Monday, March 27, 2006
Time: 7:23 p.m.
My adviser texts me and says oh-so-casually, "Oh, by the way, deadline of grades for graduating students is April 4. Last day of presentation was today."

Today.

There I was, sitting in my room at 7:24 in the evening, and being told that the last day of presentation was today.

Note the past tense.

Date: March 27, 2006
Time: 8:30 p.m.
I call my adviser, and we decide that I go to LB on Match 28 to present my SP to a panel at 3p.m.

Note that March 28 is the next day.

Date: March 28, 2006
Time: 1:30 p.m.
We've been on the road to LB for 2 hours already, and I am still to get nervous. I thought it was totally strange that I was on my way to THE presentation, and I was not feeling nervous at all. Note, though, that I did not complaining. Just pointing out the obvious.

Date: March 28, 2006
Time: 2:30 p.m.
I arrive in ICS (Institute of Computer Science) with Kuya JB and Mama. My adviser isn't there yet. That's fine since our appointment was 3 p.m., anyway.

And then, the lights go out.

Note that I need electricity to present my SP.

Date: March 28, 2006
Time: 3:03 p.m.
My adviser arrives. Still no lights.

Date: March 28, 2006
Time: 4:02 p.m.
The lights go on. I present to my adviser. The panel arrives. I present to them.

They went "Wow!" when they saw my 3D model.

They went "Hmm..." when they noticed that my layout was a bit too simple.

They went "Hmmmm..." when they spotted several errors and realized that my system is missing a few validation processes.

Picture my panelists discussing my SP amongst themselves, while I, sitting right beside them, am finally starting to get nervous. I felt really really really small at that point.

Small and invisible.

And then went "OK."

Date: March 28, 2006
Time: 8:00 p.m.
We arrive back in QC, and I disappear into my PC again to work on the revisions.

Date: March 30, 2006
Time: 9:00 a.m.
I arrive back in Los Baños earlier than I expected, but it was fine. I had to process my "papers", anyway. My adviser had me present my SP to several lowerclassmen who happened to be in the room at the time. The kids went "Wow" when they saw the 3D tour, and had all sorts of questions about how I did stuff in the system. Now, thinking back, I think either they got (a) excited to do their SP, or (b) got nervous because the SPs seemed so... impressive. I know I was nervous when I was a sophomore.

And then my adviser nods and says "OK."

I ask her, "So...that means I'll be graduating, right?"

Just to be sure.

She says "Yes."

-----------------------------------------------

And so, the graduate, my friends, among others...

...is me.

Thank you, God!

Friday, March 17, 2006

Waiting...

...not in vain, I hope.

I'm finding out once again that waiting really is very very hard and nerve-racking and can just drive people insane.

But still, I wait.

I'm giving out a HUGE "thank you!!!" to everyone who helped with my previous dillema. That'll be... Blitz... and... uh.... Blitz. Yey for Blitz!

And, oh yes, Sara, for her Flash book which I clung on to for dear life as I dove into Actionscripting. And Beth for trying to help me with Java3D. And I think Loraine is also worthy of special mention, because I think I've ranted to her about my misfortunes the most. Right, Lori?

I also would like to thank those who were not able to help in any... uh... "compsciatic" type of way, but have tried to help. There are so many of you, so I shall not list all of you down. Your support is absolutely precious to me, and for that, I thank you.

No, I am not receiving an Academy Award.

And, no. My SP is not done yet. Not officially, anyway.

Here's an update. After combing through my options, I decided to go with Flash. Following Blitz's advice, I went to look for a 3D program called Bryce.

I did not find Bryce anywhere.

But, deciding that I must not leave Circle C empty-handed, I decided to buy an installer --- any installer --- of any 3D program. However, none of them seem appealing. But, stubborn as I am, I decided to look through mp3 CDs instead. Music to sooth my frustrated mood, I said. Among the stack of the mp3 CDs I was looking at, I chanced upon a CD that seemed to have gotten lost. It was an installer of a program called Swift3D.

Never heard of it.

I looked at the description on the back, and --- viola! It's a 3D modelling tool which has a model-to-swf converter.

Oh mhay ghulay, rainbow na makulay.

I bought it. I tried it. I learned it in one day.

And, so I locked myself in my room for about a month, spending quality time with my husband --- the computer --- and I barely left the house to the point that others actually comment that I've become... well... less tan than I was before.

Ha. Yeah, right.

Anyway. I locked myself in my room, and I think I even offended my mom because of that. I even disappeared from church ministry for a while. And, since I took a leave off work, I didn't have no money, so I had no way of getting anywhere from the house. So... yey. Me and my PC. Very exciting.

And then, after I finished my SP -- goodness, that feels so great to say/type/whatever -- I started to rejoin the rest of the living world.

And now, I'm waiting for word from my adviser. See, I can't just show up in Los Baños and say "Hey! I'm here! I'm going to present my SP! Let me graduate!" I so wish I can do that, but alas, I cannot. So therefore, I'm waiting for my adviser's go signal. And while I'm doing that, I play with my SP all day, trying to spot errors, bugs, and things to improve. As I expected, there was still a lot of wrinkles to iron out.

I'm hoping to get to LB next week. So... I ask you again to pray for my defense. That I would not be tongue-tied, that I would have confidence, that I would be able to explain things properly, and that the panel won't be deathly strict with me.

I'll make another thank you speech when I'm officially done.

Till then, I disappear -- with a poof and lots of mysterious smoke from the smoke machine -- once again.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

somebody rescue me

What's been causing me to be uncharacteristically cranky and quiet-- and my eyebags to be extra dark -- is, ironically, something that is represented by two letters, which also happens to be the first two letters in my initials.

S.

P.

And now, I'm at a terrible, terrible dillema, and I SO need your opinion/help/whatever.

If I know you in real life, then I may have explained this to you already. But it's also possible that I have not. So I'm going to explain it all over again.

My SP -- Special Problem (or thesis, as it is more commonly known) -- involves a website of a school whose office is actually a house. What I'm supposed to do is make a 3D model of the school, which will the the first thing the user will see upon entering the website. The user is supposed to be able to use the cursor keys (or the mouse. whatever) to walk through the halls, and look around. There are a few clickable things that will lead to different parts of the website (which will be in plain ol' HTML). Since the house is small, I am to make it as realistic and as detailed as possible.

The rest of the website -- the HTML part -- is done, by the way. And before anybody asks, the Methodology and the Results parts of my paper isn't done. Of course.

One of my panelists (who resigned last year) told me to use Java 3D. And, for the life of me, I've been trying to understand Java3D for a whole freakin' year, but I still can't master it. And the coding is so freaking tedious, especially since I'll be making details like the shelves, the tables, the posters on the walls, etc. I don't know why I can't grasp Java3D, really. A lot of people seem to like it, and I happen to like plain ol' Java (or at least I did when I was still using it a few years back). But now it's got "3D" attached to the end...For some reason, it escapes me.

Since it's oh-so-detailed... I've been considering using Flash, instead. But the problem is I have no background on Flash. I already got some tutorials, and I borrowed a book on Flash animation. But every time I start to read and study it, I begin to doubt my (sort of) decision, so I slink back to trying my luck with Java3D again without making progress in Flash.

Right now, all I have on my J3D program are the walls and the floor. Absolutely no details yet (no ceiling yet, even!), but the navigation thingy is working already, so I can walk through the place. I've been looking for a program that'll let me design the model without the tedious code (sorta like Dreamweaver for websites), but I haven't found any. Oh, scratch that. I DID find one caled Jicasso, but it's way too basic, and it didn't help me any.

So here I'm thinking: should I just stick to Java 3D since I've got it started and it's what my former prof recommended (though I still have LOADS to model, and I have to learn properly using the classes), or do I switch to Flash which will probably give me an easier time in drawing the details and all the browsers recognize it, unlike Java3D (but I have to learn it from SCRATCH, and doesn't actually support 3D...although I can probably use animation tricks, and test my drawing prowess, to make it *look* 3D)?

What do you think?

Oh, yes. I almost forgot: Due date is the last week of February (though everybody says it's gonna be postponed). Fun, isn't it?

Then again, I can just opt to tell my professor: "FLUNK ME!" and I can make another SP proposal altogether. One that I can think over and plan over the summer, so I can be SURE I can finish it within a year. Although choosing to do that will mean that I'll be delaying my graduation for yet another year (meaning I'll be TWO years delayed)...

It seems to be dangerously appealing at the moment.

Again, I ask: Watcha think?

Hit me.

Friday, January 06, 2006

Perfect Major

You scored as Linguistics. You should be a Linguistics major!

Linguistics		100%
English		100%
Mathematics		92%
Philosophy		92%
Journalism		92%
Art		92%
Dance		83%
Theater		83%
Engineering		75%
Sociology		58%
Psychology		58%
Anthropology		50%
Biology		42%
Chemistry		17%

Hmm, yeah, I had an idea. Ehe. Linguistics was actually my first choice, Computer Science only second. But, ah, well.

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

ka-BOOM

Funny how somthing can spiral down right smack in the beginning of the year. Or maybe it's been spiralling down, but I was just ignoring it. This tells me one thing, and one thing only (or maybe a lot of things, but this one just stands out):

You gotta face the problem head on, because if you don't, it just gets bigger and bigger until it explodes in your face at the most inconvenient times.

Have a happy new year, everyone.

This is Sarah, signing off.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

long day cont'd

Ahaha.

As it was on Monday, my day started 5:30 AM. Got to LB after three hours, and, this time, the right amount of students were walking around in the campus. Because I possess the magic word (which I've possessed for four sems now), I got to talk to Tita Ofel in no time. I give her my photocopy of the (CompSci) Department's copy of my True Copy of Grades.

Man, that sounded weird.

Anyway, I got my Form 5. I filled it out, cross Oble's Island and got to ICS. To tell the truth, I was dreading facing my adviser that day, but, luckily for me, my adviser wasn't coming in for the week. And for the reg, she got Sir Leo to take care of us. YEY!

Quick note: Don't get me wrong. I don't hate my adviser or anything like that. I just don't have a face to show her yet >_< ARGH!!!!!!!!!!

So I had to wait for another hour. And, no I didn't eat because I stayed at the office so I can be first in line. Once the break is over, I finally had my form countersigned, I finally had it assessed, and I finally got to pay the enrollment fee, which was a measly P40. And then I was on my way back to QC again.

Yey. The day was tiring, as usual, but at least my mission was finally accomplished. And thatm my friends, is the end of the Enrollment Chronicles '05. Let's hope there won't be an '06.

Monday, November 07, 2005

long day

The past year, the registration period seems to be getting more and more interesting.

Not to mention draining.

But I guess it's all good in the end.

My day started at 5:30 am. I woke up, got ready, and headed off to good ol' Mt. Makiling. Ah, yes, I miss my mountain. After three hours of travel, I finally arrive... to find the campus lacking the throngs of graduating students that I had expected.

Oh, well, I thought. All the better for me.

Emphasis on the word thought.

As it turns out, I was misinformed. As in three people told me the same wrong thing. The registration period in UPLB starts on November 8, not 7. That's tomorrow, not today.

HOE?!

Great. So my three hour, P94.25 travel was for nothing?!

I went to the college secretary anyway, and, as expected, the Tita Ofel (the college sec's secretary in charge of CompSci students) told me that I couldn't enroll today. I asked her repeatedly if she could make an exception because i came all the way from QC just to pay a measly P40 for residency, blah blah blah, but to no avail. And to make mattersworse, my grades from last sem had not been sent to the UPLB office yet. So I had to go back to UP Diliman, get my TCG, and then go back to LB to enroll.

Argh.

So I had to leave LB 15 freakin' minutes after I arrived.

Perfect.

When I got to Diliman, I actually forgot that I needed a TCG, not a TOR. Blame it on my frustration about the seemingly fruitless travel. So I went straight to th Registrar's office and read the sign that told me that students applying for TOR must bring a 1"x1" picture.

Argh!

So I went back home to get pictures. By then I was hungry (I hadn't eaten anything yet), tired, and hot. And frustrated.

I ate lunch, freshened up a bit, got the pictures, and headed back to UP. Once I got to the OUR, I suddenly realized that maybe I needed a TCG and not a TOR. While I was debating whether or not I should make my forgetfulness obvious and call Tita Ofel, reenforcements arrive in the form of Sara. After a few minutes of texting, asking questions and sighing for another hundred times, my answer arrived: I only needed a TCG, which I can get at my College.

So off we go to get a tour of UP on the way to Engineering.

There, we went back and forth to the CS Department to the Engg Admin, trying to convince the staff to give me a TCG. And then, finally, finally I get my photocopy of the Department's copy of the TCG.

Then, seeing that our mission for the day was accomplished. Sara and I went for Chocolate.

FINALLY.

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr....

Tomorrow, I shall go back to LB again. Another three hours of travel. I hope, this time, I'll finally get enrolled.

But good things happened today, as well:

First, I realized that it was good that the reg period in LB hadn't started yet. Otherwaise, I would've had a hard time locating and talking with Tita Ofel, not to mention I'd have been intercepted by people asking for the yearbook.

Secondly, I found that my grade in CS135 was not 3.0. It was 2.0! Weeeeeeee!!! How that happened is beyond me, but I am absolutely not complaining.

And third... Uh... I had an excuse to spend money on choklit! XD

My day, for those interested, partially ended at 6:30 pm, when I arrived home and flopped on my bed.

It shall end officially when I've rested my tired feet on my fluffy pillow, and my head on my sleepy Meggie pillow. I think that'll be in... about 10 minutes.

Monday, October 17, 2005

three

Not one, not two, but three. Three simple words made me feel light-headed in one second, and, in the next, jumping around with joy.

Let me start from the beginning. Well, not really the beginning... it's kinda mid-way, but---... anyway, just read on.

I was minding my own business this afternoon, quietly studying. Or at least I was trying to study. It was cloudy outside, which means it was going to rain, which means it's time to be contemplatative. It was the perfect weather for my mind to drift away, much to my academic self's dismay. I caught myself once again staring out the window, and I shook my head to try to keep focused. A very hard task at times like this. Just when I was about to start reading again, my cellphone caught my attention.

"Funny," I thought, "I don't remember putting it on silent."

The caller ID flashed Rene, my groupmate's name, and I literally felt my insides flip-flop with dread. But, of course, I should've expected her to call today, anyway.

"Hello?"

"Sarah..." came her voice. It was quiet and slow, and I felt my heart pounding. Really.

"Yeah?"

"I was chatting with Sir on YM..." 'Sir' being our professor.

"And?"

"And... well..."

And, well WHAT?! I wanted to scream at her. I've been nervous practically every single minute for the past two weeks, and the dramatic pause wasn't helping any.

"Sarah, you passed."

There they were. The three words that I could've sworn I heard, but almost didn't believe hearing. I sort of expected Rene to suddenly say, "Nah, just kidding!" though I couldn't think of any reason why she would pull a prank like that. So, I said the only thing I could think of.

"WHAT?!" I yelled at her, sitting up so abruptly, I was surprised my bed didn't make a sound -- my bed creaks at the slightest movement --- or maybe I just didn't hear it.

And then Rene was laughing on the other line.

"Are you SURE?"

"Yes, dear, I'm sure."

"What did he say, exactly?"

"Well, first I asked him if I needed to take the finals. He said, no, I didn't, because I already passed. And then I go, 'Sir, what about my groupmate Sarah Cada?' He goes, and I quote, 'Sarah? She passed, too. She's graduating in LB, right?'"

It was then that my doubts were completely banished from the face of the earth, my lips formed a really wide grin, and I began jumping around like I was a lunatic.

The next few minutes involved me exclaiming possibly incoherent statements of joy that I can't even remember, congratulating and thanking my groupmate lavishly, and running (jumping) around the house telling everyone the good news.

To those who don't know: the reason why this is such important news is because this is my last course to take, and because my midterm standing was a 5.0, and my prefinal standing was 4.0, and I had worked for seven days (three of which I practically shut myself out from the living world) on a project that could pull my grades up to passing, so I wouldn't have to take my 6-hour final exam. And it did. Oh, man.

I'm still not over it, and to be honest, I can't believe I just wrote what I wrote. I just told Loraine (who was cheering me to update my blog) that I can't write now because I probably can't write anything that makes sense, due to the fact that my brain is still somewhat numb from euphoria. But, hey, lookie here. It looks like my creative streak is back.

Ah, yes. Life is beautiful.

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

to the batcave!

Just a snippet of my thoughts for today...

Point #1: I just watched batman begins last night. That's my fave batman movie ever. Sure, Katie Holmes to me still hasn't grown out of Dawson's Creek (Rachel Dawes...-on? XD). But, while forgetting that fact for two hours, I concluded that Begins is my fave. Christian Bale is just awesome. The costume design and the physics of it all is just awesome... The story execution and how they connected it to the rest of the series is just awesome...

Point #2: Those of you who saw me in the Eng'g bldg (and cared enough to ask what I was doing in Diliman, and where I was going) know that my classroom is MH233A. Supposedly. We moved to MH235. Either way, I had to go near/through "the batcave".

Put 1 and 2 together, and you have me laughing to myself at 8:00 this morning.

Bow.

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

in the span of four years...

... i have never seen so many xientians in one day without planning to. FUN!
... i have never experienced such a freaking exhausting registration process. one step forward: i only have one course to enroll. on step back: it's cross-reg, so there are a lot of..."complications".
... i never thought i'll look like a freshman again, asking people where was i was supposed to go next, texting friends asking for directions where the registrar's office was, and who was so-and-so when she was standing in front of me.

Ah, enrollment. Life would be boring without it.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

HELPdesk

here's a scene from today from "the department" in "the university". *ahem*

clarifiction. if the speaker is fuyu that means it's what's gonig on in my head, ok? so...fuyu=sarah's brain. ^_^

scene opens with sarah opening the door of the faculty room.

sarah: good morning po. my name is sarah, and . may i ask if you have an outline of ?
faculty person: ok, sandali lang... Ito, o... [hands sarah the curriculum]
sarah: ... uh.... course outline po yun kailangan ko kasi .
faculty person: course outline...hindi pa ba yan yun?
fuyu: like, duh.
sarah: um...hindi po... .
faculty person: aaaaah, outline... e, sa prof na yun hinihingi, e.
sarah: ah, gano'n po ba? kaninong prof po?
faculty person: teka... ... ang kaso, wala sila ngayon, e. wala kang mahihingan.
fuyu: dot. dot. dot. gee, thanks.
faculty person: pero si ms. baka pumasok. hintayin mo na lang.
sarah: baka pumasok...so hindi po sure kung papasok siya?
faculty person: hindi.
fuyu: so you want me to wait for someone who might not even come at all?!
sarah: puwede po bang hingin ko na lang yung phone number nya para siya na lang kausapin ko?
faculty person: ay, hindi ko alam phone number niya, e.
sarah: how about email?
faculty person: hindi ko rin alam email niya, hindi ko naman siya ine-e-mail...
sarah: uh...wala po ba sa record nyo?
faculty person: wala, e.
fuyu: Hu-WAT?!
sarah: *blink blink* eh... number or email po ng kahit alin sa mga teachers na pwedeng paganungan?
faculty person: wala, e.
fuyu: but that's IMPOSSIBLE!
sarah: ...ah...gano'n po ba...?
fuyu: you can't NOT have that in your record!!!
sarah: uh...sige po, balik na lang po ako mamaya...
faculty person: [nod and turn back to the PC]
fuyu: rawr!
sarah: ... thank you po.
faculty person: [no reaction]
fuyu: RAWR!!!!

aiya. sometimes i'm so nice and polite, i hate myself. yeah, yeah, i know i should've asserted myself, but...whatever.

rawr.

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

of thwarted plans and migraines

I'm pretty sure all of us has experienced this.

Watching your plans crumble to pieces, I mean. You know this feeling, right? You're expecting something, and you have the next month planned out. Sure, you have a plan B and C (maybe even a D), but, somehow, when you see Plan A gets slapped back in your face, it kinda gets disorienting.

I woke up at 7 a.m. with my migraine from last night still pounding on my skull. So I go back to sleep. I wake up again at 8 (That means I slept for 12 hours! Whoa!). Then at 9. Then at 10:30, and, finally, at 11:30. If I hadn't set a lunch date, I probably wouldn't have gotten up, still. I hate migraines.

After my 30-minute lunch at KFC (to match the 30 minutes I stood in line). I was walking through Carabao Park to go to ICS when my cellphone vibrates in my pocket. I was expecting my adviser or Light to send me a text message about the petition. I was expecting that they'd tell me that the petition had been passed, and we can start the classes on Thursday. If it wasn't that, I was thinking I'd see a 'Follow it up tomorrow' on the screen. But, no. I see this:

"Sarah, they don't have teachers to teach the course this summer. The petition's denied."

Well, good morning to you, too.

Although, technically, it was already afternoon.

It was really weird. I had planned that if the petition wasn't good, I was going to go home. Easy, right? But, standing there in the middle of CPark under the frustrating heat of the sun -- and NO wind. ARGH! -- I felt... lost. I knew the next steps were: pack my things, go home, work on my SP and wait for next sem's registration. But I was just standing there, and I felt like I didn't know what to do. Oh, don't worry, it's not like I was having a nervous breakdown or anything. I was nowhere near that.

But it sure felt odd.

I talked to a bunch of people (teachers, to be specific), asking for advice on what to do. There were possibilities of cross-registration (although our academic director said it wasn't advisable), and some other suggestions not worth mentioning. Plans E, F, and G were added to my list, and it made things WAY too confusing and tentative. The COMSCI wheels in my head start to turn, and, right now, I'm seeing graphs in my head, and I'm trying to figure out the shortest path...

Uh...yeah.

Summary: I won't be a student this summer. I'll be working on my ever-lovable SP, but I won't be enrolled. Nyerf.

I accumulated another 10 hours in my fave net shop, so this is for free. So, yeah. Getting an hour of net time before I go home.

Monday, April 18, 2005

holding area

A holding area in the scope of aviation, as I understand it, is a racetrack-shaped area where planes cirlce around until they get a slot to land in the airport.

My brothers and I watched Air Crash Investigation yesterday on National Geographic. There's this Avianca plane that crashed (literally fell of the sky) because they ran out of fuel. And they ran out of fuel because they were held in a stormy holding area for an hour.

I'm a holding area right now.

I'm stuck in LB with nothing to do.

SUPPOSEDLY I'm attending summer classes and doing my ever-lovable (read: sarcasm) SP. But noooo~. I am not.

I think everyone who has had a chance to talk to me within the past month knows that I failed a major. CMSC142. Tough luck for us graduating students, it ain't offered on summers. Yeah. Very cruel. So, we go and petition for the subject, right? I came to LB last week (Thursday) to take care of that, spending 4 hours to and from LB to stay in the campus for 1 measly hour. Ah, well, at least I was productive.

Monday rolls around, I get up at 5:30 am (This is a VERY odd time for me becuase this is usually the hour I go to sleep.) so I can get to LB at 8, so I can go ahead and register my course.

Guess what? The petition isn't passed to the Vice Chancellor yet. Why? Because no teacher wants to teach CMSC 142 to 15 kids. Rawr. So, they're still looking for a teacher, they say. Wait for updates, they say.

Fine.

Again, tough luck for me, because now, I have N-O-T-H-I-N-G to do. Possible activities:
(1) Kon: He's back in QC. *sniff sniff*
(2) SP: Refer to #1
(3) Writing: Writer's block.
(4) Drawing: Tried it. Everything I draw doesn't look like anything REMOTELY like what I want it to look like.
(5) Friends: Vacationing in their respective hometowns, or in their classes
(6) Sleep: Tried it, and my head hurt.

So what do I do? I spend money. >_< NOT good. I spent six hours online today doing nothing. Well, OK, it's not nothing. I feasted my eyes on fantastic work by DA artists, read some fanfics, cleaned my mailboxes, searched for scanlations (but I didn't fine the one I was looking for)....

And now, I think I'm getting a migraine.

travel + 10*(rain + sun) + boredom + guilt of burning money = migraine

I was planning on waiting for people to chat with, but I've beem here for SIX hours. Ouch for my wallet. So, yeah. I think it's about time I went offline.

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

not deaf

I have a naturally loud voice.

Not market-woman type of loudness, thank God, but... loud. Y'know what I mean.

My mom had a cough two weeks ago. Today, her voice is still hoarse. Nya. We went to a doctor for a check-up yesterday, and you know what he said? He said that my mom should have voice rest for two weeks. I go, "Oh, OK... Less talking, then, Ma." But he shakes his head, saying, "No. Not just less talking. NO talking. At all."

"But---"

"No talking, no singing, no whispering, no humming... No nothing. Nothing will go through your throat except food, water and air. No sound for two weeks."

MAN. Can you do that? I know I can't.

So we buy the prescribed antibiotics, go home, and eat dinner. All the while, my mom does NOT speak. We have to lip-read and play charades with her all day. It isn't frustrating or anything... It's actually funny. And it made me appreciate my voice...

Not that I don't appreciate it already.

But you know what's funnier than playing an all-day charade with your mom? It's seeing other people's responses to her 'condition'. Some people use gestures while they talk (when they normally don't), some people speak loudly, some whisper to her, some don't even produce sound when they speak because my mom doesn't! My mom says she wants to wear s huge sign saying, "I'm mute, not deaf."

I guess it's sorta like, when you're with someone who speaks broken English, and, even if you speak fluently, you find yourself speaking in a broken manner, as well. But I guess it's no biggie since you understand each other, and that's what matters.

Ah, yes. Communication. Very important.

----

I've moved back into my room.

Finally.

OK, so I've been here since Saturday, but I've been evacuated to the living room downstairs. See, my brother had the mumps for a week, and he's been quarantined in my room while I was gone. Of course, we can't move him just because I arrived, right? Poor guy... And he had so much to do this week. For further reading, go to his blog. Aaaaanyways, he's better now, he's back in his room, and he's being the annoying-to-the-point-of-being-amusing older brother that he is.

I've never had the mumps, by the way. All the more reason why I had to stay away from him for several days.

Oooh, ooh! Go to my brother's gigs!
Common Ground plays every friday at The Barn Bistro at Katipunan Ave. across Miriam.
Major 7th is playing for an event (I'm not sure if this is open to all, though) at Discovery Suites on April 23.
Common Ground and a few other people (with Major 7th vocalist Chique Arcilla) will be featured on a concert named Seasons. It'll be on April 30 at Royal Midway Plaza, Tandang Sora.

And, no. I am not getting paid to do this :)
----

Hmm... what else? Uh, yeah. I'm on vacation right now. But it ends on thursday. *sigh* Summer classes. I HOPE I get summer classes. Much as I love UP Los Baños, I do NOT want to have to stay there. For vacations, maybe, but not as a student. Uh-uh. I wanna get this over with and move on.

Most working people I know tell me, "Don't rush it! Enjoy your being a student!"
Right. I've enjoyed it, thank you very much.
"You'll miss being a student when you're working already."
Yeah, well, I gotta stop being a student eventually, I might as well start when I'm supposed to.

Any other words of wisdom to try to convince me to stay being a student? Email me, and I'll try to refute it ^___^

Uh...yeah.

Lat thought: I didn't mention my grade in CMSC 142, did I? Of course it's less than 55.0, since that's the passing grade, and I failed. Y'know what it is? Two measly points below the passing mark.

And, before you start to think I'm ranting again, let me just say that I'm not. ^___^

That's all for tonight, folks, thanks for readin'.

Saturday, April 09, 2005

make-up

NO. I do NOT mean cosmetics.

I realize that I haven't been blogging that much recently (disregarding the last couple of days). So now, I'm making up for it.

Here're my grades, by the way:

CMSC142 Design and Analysis of Algorithms -- 5.0 (argh)
CMSC190 Special Problem ----------------------------- INC (arrrrgh!)
CMSC191 Image Analysis ------------------------------ 1.5 (yey!)
ECO11 General Economics ----------------------------- 2.25
PI100 Philippine Institutions 100 ---------------------- 1.75
STS1 Science, Technology and Society ------------ 2.25

ECO and STS are pretty low, but I guess it's fine seeing that I didn't study so well there. Ironic that I gave a lot of time trying to understand a subject that I didn't get to pass, anyway. Rawr.

But it's SO nice that I didn't take even ONE final exam except in CMSC 142. It's required. Mehehehehe.

Ayt. Enough of acads for now.

OK, so I'm supposed to be in my house in QC (which, by the way, I miss a LOT), but I'm not there yet. I'm still in LB, waiting for my grad pic to be released, and for my Dad to pick me up... as well as the TON of things that I have to bring home.

So...blog.

I got this from Minami, who got it from Mia... who got it from...I dunno.

My journal is titled ____ because ____.
My subtitle is ____ because ____.
My friends page is called ____ because ____.
My username is ____ because ____.
My default userpic is ____ because ____.

My journal is titled Random Snowflakes because... well, read the subtitle. They're random thoughts about events that happen at a perfect time, even if, at that moment, they don't seem perfect. Take the last few months, for example. They seem pretty depressing, but I bet I'd be laughing about it in a few years.

Heck, maybe I'll even laugh about it right after I graduate....

Or maybe even before I graduate.

Whatever.

My subtitle is... uh... that because... well, read the previous paragraph. Hehe.

My friends page is called... wait. This blog doesn't have a friends page. But I have a friends section. Hehe. Linkies. Because.... they're links! Hehe. Oh, so original.

[Side note: Hm. By the looks of what I'm writing, it looks perdy pointless... Aaaaanyway, moving on...]

My username -- aha! Now, I'm making sense -- is fuyusarah because (1) Sarah is my name, and (2) Fuyu=winter. I LOVE winter. So I've never really experienced winter, but I love the way it looks. And I definitely would prefer being in an über cold place than being in a hopelessly hot place. And another reason is that I am a Winter. Wheeee~

My default pic is fuyu because she's my mascot, at the same time she's me. Ha.

So there. I guess this really is more applicable in my livejournal blog. Hm. Maybe I'll answer this there, too, so it'll finally have something in it that actually makes sense. Harhar.

OK, the grad pic's out. I'm gonna get on over there now. Hehe. Maybe I'll blog again later. Dunno.

------
[last note: YEY! This entry isn't sad! Mwahahahahahaha! *jumps around*]

Thursday, April 07, 2005

flying out of my head

My week so far...

Monday: I presented my SP. I got an INC, which is relatively good, because I could have gotten a 5.0, and I'd be forced to redo my SP from scratch. If that had happened, I'd graduate on October.

Tuesday: I did NOT leave the four corners of my unit/dorm building. This is hard to believe for most people who know me, because most usually, I'm out with friends, on group meetings, etc. Ah, yes. I'm in-demand, sorry.

...

-ahem-

Moving on...

Wednesday: I finally leave the dorm for a reason I can't remember right now. I wasn't really planning to look at my CMSC142 grade because I didn't know it was out already.

[Scene: Sarah leaning on the bulletin board talking with a friend]
me: Yung 142 ko kaya, ok na? hindi ko pa pala natatanong kay sir...
friend: Ayan sa likod mo, o.
me: [whips around] Uy! Oo nga! 19289, 19289.... Aha! [freeze]
friend: Ano grade mo? ... Ha?! ikaw ba talaga yan? Baka naman---
me: Singko...

That was another jaw-dropping, I-wish-the-earth-would-swallow-me-alive moment. Of course, I stared at it and checked it a gazillion times if I was really staring at my grade. Sad to say, it was. My first failing grade in a major. Sucks. A huge, offensive 5.0. And I can't do nothin' about it.

So that means I could still be delayed until October, anyway, because the subject isn't offered during summers. My dad called last night. I told him. He got angry -- not at me, thank God. But at the teacher (uh...that's not good, is it?) He goes, "anong pangalan nyang prof mo?!" Yikes.

One good thing that happened: I was chatting with Ame and Loraine last night, and I got pretty happy :) Yeah, they're my beloved best friends cum rant-absorbers. So I was happy last night, and I uploaded some stuff on DA, too... I was HYPER.

Thursday: Ame and Loraine came here to LB (happy, happy, joy, joy~!). It was quite a 'spur of the moment' roadtrip, and practically everything we did was 'spur of the moment'. Honestly, I don't feel like elaborating today, so let me just say that I didn't have a real plan on what we were going to do once we were in LB. But then, that's how we usually are when we're together. Mostly everything is an impulsive decision. Or, at least I think so. Whatever.

My goodness. THAT made me happy this week. REALLY. I needed that. *sigh*

And, oh yeah. I realized something: UPLB is a clean university. Ground-wise and building-wise (if such words actually exist). Ame told me that, and I go, "Oo nga, no..." You'd think, after four years of being proud of my campus, I'd realize that. Ha. Apparently not. We took LOTSa pictures today, and it was fun.

OK, so I was hyper and jumpy and happy this afternoon. Until my yearbook editorial board meeting. Nothing bad happened or anything, but it was brain-draining... Argh. Somehow I wish I wrote this BEFORE the meeting so I can write a happy blog, for once.

...

For the record, my life isn't THIS depressing. I just write recently because of frustration, I realize that now. But I get genki days, too. Just...not today. And when I DO get genki, I don't blog about it recently. I dunno why. Maybe I'm just busy about stuff that will eventually lead to the relatively sad blogs. You can go on over to my DA account to read a pretty hyper, happy, Sarah-esque journal entry if you'd like. If you don't, then it's no problem.

Ah, whatever. I'm tried. Me sleep.

Saturday, March 26, 2005

tonight, i frown

Not that I chose to.

When I'm on either end of the emotional spectrum, I go online. That, or I listen to mp3s with the volume blaring in my ears. OK, so I do that practically all the time, anyways, but that's not the point. The point is this: tonight I am NOT the usual ever-happy, eternally-smiling, genki-genki, hyper Sarah. No.

I can't freaking smile. Believe me, I tried. I can't even smile a fake one. Drat. The reasons for this being:
a) My mom and I got into a fight over something unbelievably shallow. Hm. Nah, I take that back. We didn't get into a fight. She gunned me down while I decided not to speak. I'm not angry at her. Honest. I'm angry at the fact that people get unstable as they grow old. Stupid hormones. The only thing good that came out of this is I got to draw something.
b) I'm not going to graduate this April. After much anticipation and people's praises that I did good, I am not going to march down the aisle to the tune of the Graduation March. And, after getting depressed for two weeks, I actually felt fine about it when I realized that my world shouldn't revolve around the fact that I should graduate on time. It was just my pride, I guess. So I'm fine with it, right? Yeah. For three freaking days. But, in contrast to the other week, I'm not depressed. I'm just saddened. This time, it's not because I'm not going to graduate, but for a different reason. One that I will not disclose in this blog.
c) ... I don't have a third reason.

So... if you notice, the main thing that brought about the selective gravity pulling the corners down to the center of the earth is my 'fight' with my mom. It's so frustrating. I mean, I hadn't cried over anything alone in a long, long time -- mostly there's someone else there with me for support, and I end up feeling better -- and, of all the things to cry about, it's something so shallow. ARGH! Maybe it's because we hadn't had a fight in a while. That's why the impact so great. Or maybe it's because she's my mom. Or maybe it's the two put together.

So I go online to channel my energies elsewhere, right? To get rid of negative vibes...

Well, guess what? I've been online for 4 stupid hours, I've listened to hundreds of mp3s already, and I think I'm getting deaf (not that I actually care).

But I'm still horrendously frowning. So there. Sorry for spreading depressing thoughts, but that's that. But, since you're not me, then you don't have the same circumstances as mine.

Smile.

Sunday, March 13, 2005

3D

My goodness...

This is one of the downsides of being a computer science student... You can pore over your code for HOURS and not have any output... You can go over your code a gazillion times and not find the bug. And then, you suddenly realize that the problem is one freaking misplaced comma. Sheesh.

And then, a few seconds after practically whining, you suddenly leap up and jump around the room (scaring the lights out of your roommates in the process) when a simple "Hello World" appears on the screen.

Hehe. I LOVE my course...

My universe is revolving around 3D right now... Universe...
Represented using a tree data structure built from the components leaf node, groupnodes, and node components...

...

OK. That was scary...

*ahem* Ah, well... I hope my time to jump around with joy comes soon... If only I could just "hocus-pocus-abra-cadabra!" the tiles to appear on the floor i'm trying to draw...

Haaaay, life.

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

countdown

got three more weeks...

just three freakin' weeks....

somehow i wish it was longer...

*disappears back into her PC*

Monday, March 07, 2005

Katamaran

Sa mga nais na magbasa ng isang malalim-lalim na sulating Tagalog, mangyari lamang na magtungo sa http://www.xanga.com/fuyusarah.

Mabuhay ang kalayaan.

EDIT/
I decided to put this on here, instead of linking it.

----------

I love PI100.

Sounds unbelievable, I know, but I do.

I'm serious!

PI100 is my favorite subject this sem. Nyaharharhar. Check this out if you have the guts to.

---------

"Hay, nako, ang Pilipino nga naman. Napakatamad."

Napakaraming beses ko nang narinig ang ganito sa kalsada, na para bang hindi Pilipino ang nagsabi. Sa kasulukuyan, tila tanggap na ng mga Pilipino na tamad ang kanilang lahi. Naisin man niyang magbago, nawawalan na siya ng pag-asa dahil sa nakikita niya sa kaniyang paligid. 'Ika nga, "ang iyong pinahihintulutan, hindi mo mababago kailanman". Bago pa man natin magawan ng paraan ang isang problema, kailangang malaman muna nating malaman kung ano ang ugat ng problema.

Isinulat ni Dr. Jose Rizal ang kanyang mga kuro-kuro tungkol sa paksang ito sa "Tungkol sa Katamaran ng mga Pilipino". Ang katamaran mismo ay hindi isang kasamaan, kundi "ang pagsasagawa at pagpapaunlad nito". Hindi naman kinakailangan na manahin ng bawat henerasyon ang katamaran ng nakatatanda, subalit, dahil nakasanayan na ito, mahirap na itong tanggalin. Pero, kung titingnan sa ating kasaysayan, marami ang mga tala tungkol sa kasipagan ng Pilipino. Masikap silang nangangalakal sa mga ibang bansa, at masagana ang lupang kanilang tinatrabaho. Mukhang ang katamaran ay nagsimula lamang nang dumating ang mga Kastila.

Para maging makatarungan, hindi naman ang mga Kastila mismo ang sanhi ng katamaran, kundi ang kanilang mga inasal tungo sa mga Pilipino noong panahong iyon.

Ang pagtrato ng mga enkomendero sa kanilang mga tauhan ay isa sa mga nakatulong na palaguin ang katamaran ng Pilipino. Ang tabahador ay nagsisikap, pero hindi naman niya nakukuha ang nararapat sa kanya. Isang baliw -- o kaya naman isang santo -- lamang ang magtratrabaho para sa wala. Hindi ba't ang tao'y gumagawa upang siya'y mabuhay? Paano na kung ang nakukuha niya para sa kanyang pawis ay kulang pa para sa kanyang hapunan?

Ang isa pang maaring patubig sa katamaran ay ang konsepto ng himala. Tinuruan ang mga Pilipino na manalig sa Panginoon, at maghintay ng milagro. Wala naming mali dito. Ang masama ay ang pag-abuso ng mga kura sa pananampalataya ng mga Pilipino: nagbibigay ang mga mananampalataya ng alay sa Diyos, pero kinukuha lang din naman ng kura.

Isa pa ang edukasyon. Oo't pinag-aral nila ang mga Pilipino noon. Pero, matapos ang lima o sampung taon, maririnig lang ng estudyanteng Pilipino na ang lahat ng ping-aralan niya ay bale wala dahil siya ay sadyang pang-bukid lamang, kasama ng kanyang kalabaw. Mula pagkabata ay naririnig na ng Pilipino na hindi para sa kanya ang kuwan, na nanggaling siya sa lahing mababa, na wala siyang mararating, na hindi siya karapat-dapat sa mga gawain ng mga Espanyol. Mula pagkabata, pinupukpok na sa Pilipino na kailangan siyang maging mala-makina, na dapat siyang makinig sa lahat ng sasabihin ng kura, na hindi dapat siya umangal at tanggapin na lamang lahat nang sasabihin sa kanya.

Kung titingnan ang mga pinakamauunlad na bansa sa kasulukuyan, sila ang mga pinaka-liberal. Ang mga mamamayan niya ay yaong may espasyo na magsaad ng nilalaman ng isip at puso. Yaong may "kalayaan upang mabigyan ng pakapak ang kanyang diwang makipagsapalaran".

Maaaring ipinanganak tayong may katamaran, pero walang karapatan ang sino man na ikahon na lang tayo bilang "tamad, at magiging tamad habang-panahon". Lahat naman ng bagay ay maaaring gawan ng paraan kung gugustuhin.

Nakalulungkot na kahit ilan daang taon na ang nakalipas mula nang tayo�y nakatamo ng kalayaan, ganito pa rin ang nakaukit sa ating isipan: na ang banyaga ang tama. Na sila ang mas magaling. Na sila lang ang may karapatang makaangat. Tayong lahat ay tao lamang, tayong lahat ay nanggaling lamang kay Adan at Eba. Hindi ba't tayong lahat ay may kakayahang makapunta sa mga kamangha-manghang lugar?

Siyempre, oo.

---------

A summary/reaction paper. "Tungkol sa Katamaran ng Pilipino" is 30 freakin' pages. Gimme some credit here :D

Monday, February 28, 2005

fuyu, you are a student

browsing in DA kinda stirred up the artist inside me (yeah, it's deep, deep inside me... so deep, it takes forever to resurface..sometimes i wonder if it's even there at all). every time i check out other people's work, i want to run home and practice drawing again (it's been forever since i last drew something decent).

but, timing is everything.and this is NOT the right time for that.

it would've been so much fun if i get paid to write and draw. but, alas, i am not. i am a student. which means i have work to do.

a LOT of work to do.

yeah.

i'm going back to convincing myself to work, now.

Thursday, February 10, 2005

seriousness

Unless you simply want to torture me, don't, I repeat, do NOT ask me about my SP. I'm begging you. If you do, you might as well be slicing my arm and alternately spraying vinegar and sand on the wound. I am NOT kidding. And I won't be explaining why, either, because doing that will just be equivalent to answering the question I just told you not to utter.

So there.

Saturday, January 29, 2005

The List

COLLEGE OF ARTS AND SCIENCES
LIST OF GRADUATING STUDENTS
April 2005
...
...
BS COMPUTER SCIENCE
...
...
2001-19289 Cada, Sarah Pauline V.

~~~~

OK, so I already know I'm going to graduate on April. But, somehow, seeing it in print in an official bulletin board brought butterflies in my stomach.

Call me a cheesy, sentimental girl, but standing there, my college life flashed through my mind in O(1) speed.

I saw myself going to class 30 minutes before it actually starts...
...myself crying because I got a 2.5 in my history exam ("Why is it soooo low?! I studied!!!")
...my first computer science courses: CMSC2 and 11
...the dreaded Math series I staggered out of;
...my first 3.0 in my class card (curse you, NASC2!)
...my first 5.0 (Math 28... *sniff sniff*)
...the Guinto series
...the majors
...the sleepless nights
...the time when I totally wished I was dead instead of doing what I wa doing ("What if PhySci suddenly crashed down because of an earthquake?")
...the times I TOTALLY loved my course ("CompSci dabest!!!")...

Now, here I am, 17 measly units away from that sablay.

Man, what a ride.

Thursday, January 20, 2005

the two questions

Remember that time in high school when everyone was excited over the coming college entrance exams? Students got application forms from several schools, and they bring it to class, discussing with friends which course they were gong to take. Everyone taking the UPCAT particularly ask each other a gazillion questions: which campus to choose, what a particular course really is, if it was worth five years, if that was the course for them...

Well, that "phase" is back, except it's the next level. It's the "I'm looking for work!" phase.

COSS week is here --- COSS being Computer Science Society, for those who don't know --- and they have the annual Career Orientation. People from several companies came, speaking to us about...well...career options. Suddenly, all of us were asking each other where we were going to work, how to make a decent resumé, what the requirements were for the PAL exam tomorrow, if there was a job opening in Accenture for graphics designers and web designers as there were in LinkSphere... and, of course, THE two questions we all unconsciously ask ourselves everyday:

Bakit ka nag-computer science?

'Yun ba talaga ang gusto mong course?

My goodness. When my friend said that aloud, I froze. Sure, it's not the first time someone asked me that (though it WAS the first time in almost a year), but, I don't know... I suppose being asked that when I was in such a seminar sent a chill down my spine. Don't get me wrong, though; I LOVE my course. I mean, I rarely say my course out loud without a "da best!" immediately after it.

CompSci da BEST!

Now, I already knew what my answer was supposed to be, and I could've answered right away, but, oddly, I was rendered speechless.

In the end, I never answered him.

Saturday, January 15, 2005

Toggle

I discovered today that I can effectively turn on my cheery mode even when i don't feel like it. I've tried this before, but it didn't work. Sometimes my mood is totally rotten, nothing could cheer me up. Except maybe chocolate. Or a huge hug from a select group of friends, who can't be there right that moment (of course).

I haven't had sleep for the last three days. My one-hour nap on the bus this morning doesn't count. And it didn't feel like an hour at all. More like five minutes. The last time I did this (not sleeping for several days, I mean), it was the end of February, and nearly everyone in our batch was cramming to submit our projects in Software Engineering. That lasted for about 2 months, but at least I get one or two hours of sleep every day.

When I lack sleep, I can be one of three things:
1) The Zombie
Appearance: eyes wide open
Brain status: totally frozen
Distinct characteristic: delayed reaction to anything and everything
Sentence of the day: "Huh?"

2) The Kid
Appearance: wide smile
Distinct characteristic: jumping around at every possible opportunity
Speaking speed: 120-360 words per minute
Brain status: unknown
Sentence of the day: "Huwaaaaa! Ang galing naman no'n!"

3) The Grouch
Appearance: stoic face
Distinct characteristic: drooping eyelids
# of words per minute: maximum of 10
Brain status: active
Sentence of the day: "Ewan."

On the bus this morning, I was the zombie. Of course, it didn't really matter because I had no one else to talk to except the ticket guy. But when I got home, I was strangely normal. Even when we went to the dedication of my newest über-cute cousin, I was normal. But the moment I got back home (and the rest of my family went to Pangasinan), I was back to zombie mode. Good thing ame had sent me a hilarious email, which luckily did for me what a hug would.

My schedule for the next several hours:
1) Download and test the stuff I need for my thesis
2) study what I got
3) go back to LB

So...yeah. That's life.

Thursday, January 13, 2005

don't blame me

I am, though I used to deny it, a total crammer.

Yeah, sure, I got myself a 2005 desk planner even before 2004 ended. OK, so got it in November -- NOVEMBER! --- so I could plan January, I said. And I *did*.

At this day, I was going to start my thesis. At this day, I was going to do so-and-so part of my thesis, therefore supposedly making progress. On that day, I'm going to get myself a copy of the stupid, over-priced CMSC 142 manual so I could finally get a point, even a single point, in my quizzes. On this other day, I was supposed to start studying C++ so I could participate in my Image Analysis class.

Yeah, I planned, all right.

But it doesn't necessarily follow that I actually did what I wrote there.

It didn't follow.

Now, before you roll your eyes and say, "Ah, there she goes again ranting about how she isn't doing anything yet", I'm going to contradict that already. I wrote today to say that I actually accomplished *something*.

We have this report in STS (a totally boring subject for seniors, but, ironically, only seniors get to take this course) later today... acutally, it's in about an hour from now. Our group knew about this since last week, and we've been throwing ideas here and there... Yeah, we're a very active group, as opposed to practically every other group I've had the last four years. Anyways, we've been 'planning' our report, but we never put anything on paper. We never had a *real* group meeting (we just accidentally bump into each other in Vega almost everyday this week). We never actually had a concrete decision as to how we're going to do deliver our report.

Until 9:00 a.m. today. A measly 2 hours before our class.

We met for our first meeting at 8 a.m. today, put our sleepy heads together, and generated a pretty long paper (3 pages!), a report -- and even a game before that -- in an hour.

As negligible as this report may be -- and, as weird and shallow as I could sound right now -- I was totally excited to remember that I work well under pressure. No, scratch that. I work *only* under pressure, I think. I mean, no matter how much I actually want to start early, I end up doing things barely before deadline.

So, I suppose there's hope for me yet.

Ha-HA! Graduation, here I come!!!

Monday, January 10, 2005

Finally

Today is the start of the second week of school.

I honestly feel like this is the first day of the first week of school.

I got online to research something on Java3d... It turns out I have to download it, along with the plug-in, plus lots and lots of tutorials to get me started. Though I *do* know Java, it's not Java3d. That means I have lots of work to do.

The guilty feeling is starting to kick in.

Why -- oh, why~ -- did I not do this during the vacation? I mean, I could have downloaded everything I needed during the break (what with me going on line for 6 hours or so during the wee hours of the morning) so all I had to do now is study, and start. And, thanks to my oh-so-fun vacation, I can't start. The files are too big to fit in a diskette (yeah, right, I wish), and I don't have a Flash drive yet, so the only choice I have is burning them on a CD to take them to the dorm.

Na-uh. I'm not spending that much money in a public internet cafe.

Therefore, I am stuck. Stuck with the real, diligent student inside me starting to wake up who's got lots to do, and she's