How hard is it to act like nothing is wrong when you actually have a headache?

"Hard," you might answer, and I'd nod, saying, "That's correct."

How hard is it to act like you're cheerful when you actually have a bad headache?

"Very hard," you might say, and I'd nod, saying, "That's right."

How hard is it to act like all hyper and excited when you actually have a migraine headache?

"I can't even begin to imagine," you might say, and I'd nod, saying, "Precisely."

My goodness. Yes, I had done it before, concealing the fact that I feel that my head was going to split into two. But I had never, in my whole life, tried to be a game master while my temples were throbbing in pain. And I would have never EVER imagined that I could actually pull it off.

That was how my Christmas was, ladies and gentlemen. After a long drive to Pangasinan, we had our family reunion, wherein I was assigned (on the spot, no less) to be in charge of the games. Thankfully, I had expected this, and I had prepared a couple of games. What I didn't expect, though, is that I'd get a headache right after our delicious lunch. I shrugged it off, thinking, "Pagod lang yan." I thought it would go away after an hour or so. I thought that fun was the cure to it. But was it?

No, no, no, no, nooooooo~.

But what was I to do? Abandon my family of 70 and go to lie down in the car, and expect them to carry on? Fat chance. Of course, they're likely to manage to come up with games of their own, but I'm sure they'd be worried about the sick girl in the car.

So what did I do? I carried on, stretching my acting skills to the limit, convincing everyone so successfully, they thought I was on sugar high. And, guess what? My smiles weren't all acting: I actually had fun! For me, being in charge of games always was better than actually being in the game, anyway. Somehow, watching the players having fun, and watching the spectators having fun, and knowing that you had a part in that fun... Well, that just gives me joy equivalent to a million games I could play in.

After the fun and games were through, though, my headache did throb with a vengeance, angry for being ignored. Now that was the time I had to take two tablets of Biogesic and lie down. (Alas, my beloved Advil was nowhere to be seen.) But at least I had lots of fun before then. And at least I went to sleep with a smile, knowing that everybody else was smiling, too.

----
On a side note: when I rejoined my family around the bonfire a few hours later that night, it turned out that everyone found out about my headache, after all. (Blame it on one of my cousins who saw me in the car.)

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

of thwarted plans and migraines

I'm pretty sure all of us has experienced this.

Watching your plans crumble to pieces, I mean. You know this feeling, right? You're expecting something, and you have the next month planned out. Sure, you have a plan B and C (maybe even a D), but, somehow, when you see Plan A gets slapped back in your face, it kinda gets disorienting.

I woke up at 7 a.m. with my migraine from last night still pounding on my skull. So I go back to sleep. I wake up again at 8 (That means I slept for 12 hours! Whoa!). Then at 9. Then at 10:30, and, finally, at 11:30. If I hadn't set a lunch date, I probably wouldn't have gotten up, still. I hate migraines.

After my 30-minute lunch at KFC (to match the 30 minutes I stood in line). I was walking through Carabao Park to go to ICS when my cellphone vibrates in my pocket. I was expecting my adviser or Light to send me a text message about the petition. I was expecting that they'd tell me that the petition had been passed, and we can start the classes on Thursday. If it wasn't that, I was thinking I'd see a 'Follow it up tomorrow' on the screen. But, no. I see this:

"Sarah, they don't have teachers to teach the course this summer. The petition's denied."

Well, good morning to you, too.

Although, technically, it was already afternoon.

It was really weird. I had planned that if the petition wasn't good, I was going to go home. Easy, right? But, standing there in the middle of CPark under the frustrating heat of the sun -- and NO wind. ARGH! -- I felt... lost. I knew the next steps were: pack my things, go home, work on my SP and wait for next sem's registration. But I was just standing there, and I felt like I didn't know what to do. Oh, don't worry, it's not like I was having a nervous breakdown or anything. I was nowhere near that.

But it sure felt odd.

I talked to a bunch of people (teachers, to be specific), asking for advice on what to do. There were possibilities of cross-registration (although our academic director said it wasn't advisable), and some other suggestions not worth mentioning. Plans E, F, and G were added to my list, and it made things WAY too confusing and tentative. The COMSCI wheels in my head start to turn, and, right now, I'm seeing graphs in my head, and I'm trying to figure out the shortest path...

Uh...yeah.

Summary: I won't be a student this summer. I'll be working on my ever-lovable SP, but I won't be enrolled. Nyerf.

I accumulated another 10 hours in my fave net shop, so this is for free. So, yeah. Getting an hour of net time before I go home.