Saturday: Scuba Diving at Anilao, Batangas

Left Manila at 3AM (arrrgh I was so sleepy!!!). Went snorkelling right after diving orientation, while waiting for my turn to dive. Got to meet a clownfish family (hehe) and a couple of giant clams, among others. Went for the dive around 2PM. Went below until 30 feet. IT WAS AWESOME. Went for dinner at Grace Sister of Rose (haha! that name always gets me.) Got home around midnight.

Sunday: Victory LB alumni homecoming at Los Baños

A long-overdue reunion. Had fun meeting people I had not seen in 3 years, which is mostly my fault for not coming to visit Los Baños in forever. Went to buy Mer-Nel's cake for the family and for the roommates. Didn't get to go on the last bus back to Manila, so we had to go to Calamba, and then Alabang, and then Cubao. Nyaharharhar. Note to self: remember that the last bus leaves at 8:30. Got home around 11 in the evening.

Monday: Every Nation Productions outing at Alabang

Killer Uno. Videoke. Lunch, lunch, lunch, and more lunch. Charoodles. A million laughs with officemates and family. Lunch, lunch. Frisbee. Nap under the trees. And more lunch. Haha! Got home around 7:30. Looked up at the sky and saw Venus, Jupiter, and Luna smiling at me :)  Texted everyone I know with a decent camera to please, please, please take a photo of it. This photo is by Beth.

What a weekend! Note that after every "event", I went back to Quezon City to spend the night at home. Hay.

One thing I would like to change about myself is that I don't travel a lot, no matter how much I would like to. But that's going to change!!!

Hopefully.

Um...yeah.

Friday, February 23, 2007

para sa mga taga-LB

Got this from She.

1. Cnu ang favorite teacher/s mo sa UPLB?!
Lesseee.... I actually liked several teachers. Among them are:
My SPCM1 prof, Sir Vargas
Prof. Pabico in CMSC11
Sir Merle in CMSC 131
Dr. Payawal for NASC2
Prof Enriquez of my PE2-3 (Dancesport rocks!!!)

2. Nkakain Ka na ba ng proven sa raymundo?
Syempre! sino ba hindi? XD

3. Masarap ba ang Chocolate cake sa Mernel's?
A thousand-million percent YES. I usually brought a cake home to QC for my family.

4. Nakatambay ka na ba sa fertility tree?
Yep! The wind is nice over there.

5. Mahilig ka ba mag-DOTA sa g-site?
Um... I was never really a gamer (except for The Sims)... And I think DOTA wasn't popular yet at that time...

6. Alam mo ba kung saan located ang TBA?
I knew where it was even before I got into college.

7. Nkailang units ka this sem?
...Ahehe. I'm not a student anymore. But for what it's worth, I ALWAYS got 17 units and above.

8. Mahirap ba mag-prerog?
Well... I guess so. It's frustrating at times, but as a whole, it was more fun than anything else.^________^ (or maybe I only thought that way because I only had to do it for a couple of courses)

9. May org ka ba? Ano?
I was with Youth on Fire... I'm not sure if they changed the name to ENCM already or not...

10. Nkakain ka na ba sa SU?
Haha! Yes, actually. My first few days in LB, I always ate dinner there. Until I discovered the magic of Papu's. XD

11. Sino crush mo sa UPLB???
Ohoho! Whatta question. I think I admired a lot of people there: orgmates, classmates, whatever. There's too many of them to list down.

12. Sino sa tingin mo ang pinaka gwapo at mgandang teacher sa UPLB?
Hm... I don't know very many teachers apart from my sphere of movement, but I'd say... Sir Merle of ICS and... Mrs Enqriquez of DHK.

13. Nakanood ka na ba ng PalaCASan?
Once. In senior year. For an hour.

Oh, wait! Hindi pa pala! Cheering lang yung pinanood ko. LOL!

14. Ano masasabi mo sa mga tindera sa canteen ng math building?
Mabait naman... why?

15. Eh yung CR ng Math bilding?
Er... I never went anywhere near that room.

16. Saan sa UPLB ang lugar na sobrang nkakatakot kahit umaga?
Hm...
Hmmmm.....
I can't think of any place, actually...

17. Cno knaiinisan mo sa campus?
Activists who disrupt classes. Errr....Yeah. Sorry. I know we all have freedom of expression and all that, but come ON. Don't we have freedom of...well... studying in peace?

18. Kilala mo ba si Pong?
Hehehe.

19. Ano ang masasabi mo tuwing nirerequire ng prof na manood ng play?
It's fun. If it's a good prod, then great! I like plays. If it's a bad prod, I always made it a point to tell the production people what they can improve on. It's their choice if they want to listen to me or not.

20. Alam mo ba ang ibig sabihin ng Tibak?
Who doesn't?

21. Ano ang topic ng research paper mo sa Eng2?
Um... Something about Japanese art. I can't remember the title. Basta. Na-uno ko yata yun.

22. Saan ka na nkapag field trip?
LOL! Bulacan (which is my mom's hometown) and Manila City (which is just beside my own city). Anlayo, no? XD

23. Sino ang favorite band mo?
As in LB band? Kartoon Chemistry rocks! And our org's band rocks, too!

24. Ano ang opinyon mo sa mga frat wars?
Um... Useless? I mean, seriously, guys. I know you fratmen are intelligent, civil beings... PLEASE be civil about your disputes.

25. Fan ka ba ng UP Fighting Maroons?
Yeah, I guess. I mean, I'm not really into sports and all that, but if I'd be rooting for anybody, it'd be the Maroons, man.

26. Ano GPA mo last sem?
... I can't remember what my last GPA was. It was good, that's for sure.

27. Favorite GE subject?
SPCM is my fave GE course ever. EVAARRRRRRR!!!

28. Favorite major/s?
Hmm.... If we base it on the subject matter, I'd say CMSC2. Web design. My experience there wasn't as great as I expected, though. CMSC11: Introduction to Programming was incredibly fun... CMSC128 was cool, too. Software Engineering. I SO enjoyed our project for that course.

29. Memorized mo ba UP naming mahal?
I did, yes. But now I can't remember all the lines anymore. Gimme a few minutes and I'll write it down for ya.

30. Last one, Gusto mo ba tlaga sa UP?
OF COURSE! UPLB luuuuuv!!!

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Destination: Laguna

By popular demand...
Through much tears, fights, and sleepless nights...
After a time of depression, elation, exhaustion and procrastination...
With kicking, screaming, and mass hysteria...

Graduation day had finally come.

MY graduation day had finally come.

The presentation was a piece of cake, actually. Much easier than I expected, that's for sure. My panel was the following:

My adviser
Another student presenting his SP
The other student's adviser
My adviser's roommate in the office (who's actually playing dynomite while listening to us)

That's it.

That's freaking it!

I'm NOT complaining. Yes. Glad we have that cleared.

And, my gosh. It didn't even take me five minutes, and we were done. (I can't remember the details anymore, because it HAD been a few weeks ago already.)

And so, there I was, on the 29th of April 2006, ready to march down the aisle, go up the stage and get my (pseudo-)diploma.

Again, I won't go into the details. Else, I'll just start babbling, and I'll probably never stop. I'll just let the pictures tell the story.

Yey! Kuya JB, my Dad, me and my Mom being blown away by the wind in front of the dorm. (Buti na lang mahangin!)


The family amidst the graduating CMSC students.


But of course, where ever you put them, the Cada boys will still have fun.


OK... I went up on stage at around 6:30 p.m., I think. So it was too dark to take pictures from where Kuya JB was standing. I do have a picture, though, taken by the official photographer. I shall upload it after I scan it.

It's teh graduate!!!


After the graduation, we rested in restful SEARCA dorm (the hotel pretending to be a dorm inside UPLB). Then we got up and went to one of my favorite places in the country, Rizal Recreation Center in Rizal, Laguna! YEY!

We did practically everything you could do in the Center. Thank goodness everything's for free. We played all 'em games, we went attempted to go through the obstacle course many, many, MANY times, we went stargazing ("Ooooh! So many starzzzzz!"), fishing, swimming... and we basically did so many crazy things, it felt like we were there for a week when we were only there for a day.

God, I love that place.

The Cada kids in the treehouse. It's a real treehouse in the strictest sense, I think.


FISHING! I caught the first fish. I caught it within just a minute after getting my fishing rod! Thank you, Grander Musashi!!! XD I caught three of 'em! Yey!


Photo op on a tree with Adrielle (in yellow shirt), Joni (in Blue shirt) and my sistah Chique (in yellow tank top).

Monday, April 10, 2006

Amazing Race UPLB

"Sarah, get your manuscript today. Deadline of clearance is 12 noon."

Oh, lookie. Again, I got a deadline notification ON the deadline. Four freaking hours from the deadline.

Great. Perfect. Fabulous. Superbly wonderful.

I had been told that the deadline of clearance was during this week. I guess I must have misunderstood or something. I was also told to wait for my adviser to give me the go signal to have my SP hardbound. So I guess this is my go signal, huh?

From the starting line, take a jeepney to Quezon City Circle. From there, take a CUBAO IBABAW bus, and get off at the HM station to get to UPLB.

I got to Los Baños at exactly 12:00 noon. But I still had a few minutes of travel to do to get to ICS. "It's fine," my adviser said. "I talked to Ofel. Just go to my office."

Hokay...

We discussed my manuscript, and it turns out that I still had MAJOR revisions to do. As in MAJOR. And I had to finish that by tomorrow.

Uh... Did I mention that I had to have this hardbound, and that I didn't have a house (and PC) here in LB?

After talking to 'the adviser', go to the College Secretary's Office to get a clearance form. Go by foot and have it signed by all the department heads within the College.

Battle plan:

From IMSP, go to INSTAT and the Institute of Chem. Then cross Oble's island to get to NCAS. Have your clearance signed in HUM and Department of Social Sciences. Go to the back exit and cross the street to get to BioSci.

Then, walk in the scorching heat to the library. Don't forget to say hello to the Pegaraw.

From there, go around to the back of the library and cross the bridge. Don't look down, by the way.

Climb the steep road to get to the University Health Service. This will take about 10 minutes, and about a gazillion beads of sweat. Say hi to Maria Makiling.

From the UHS, ride a jeepney down the über steep road, and get off at Baker Hall (DHK). Walk towards the neighboring building of the Office of Student affairs.

From there, walk (again) to the administration building to pay the graduation fee.

Walk (what else?!) to the internet shop to cool off and start your revisions on the manuscript. This will be your pitstop for this leg of the race.

-----------

Sarah's comments: Did I mention that I did all this alone? And that the sun is, like, VERY cruel?! Argh. I would have appreciated the campus tour on any other day, but come on.

Thursday, March 30, 2006

The Graduate

So I'm not in the mood to write right now, despite the fact that it is Maaya's birthday -- oddly, I'm usually hyper and genki on this day of the year -- but I'll try.

-----------------------------------------------

Date: Monday, March 27, 2006
Time: 7:20 p.m.
I send a text message to my prof, asking her if she received the email I sent her the weeks before. She says "No. Remind me tomorrow."

Now, this I found weird. Either (a) there was an error during the data transfer, or (b) she didn't check her email regularly. I thought that (b) was impossible because (1) she was a computer science teacher so email is a vital part of life, (2) she has unlimited internet access in her office, so she should check her email, and (3) I told her weeks before that I sent the email.

So something must have gone wrong in cyberspace.

Yes, that must be it.

Date: Monday, March 27, 2006
Time: 7:23 p.m.
My adviser texts me and says oh-so-casually, "Oh, by the way, deadline of grades for graduating students is April 4. Last day of presentation was today."

Today.

There I was, sitting in my room at 7:24 in the evening, and being told that the last day of presentation was today.

Note the past tense.

Date: March 27, 2006
Time: 8:30 p.m.
I call my adviser, and we decide that I go to LB on Match 28 to present my SP to a panel at 3p.m.

Note that March 28 is the next day.

Date: March 28, 2006
Time: 1:30 p.m.
We've been on the road to LB for 2 hours already, and I am still to get nervous. I thought it was totally strange that I was on my way to THE presentation, and I was not feeling nervous at all. Note, though, that I did not complaining. Just pointing out the obvious.

Date: March 28, 2006
Time: 2:30 p.m.
I arrive in ICS (Institute of Computer Science) with Kuya JB and Mama. My adviser isn't there yet. That's fine since our appointment was 3 p.m., anyway.

And then, the lights go out.

Note that I need electricity to present my SP.

Date: March 28, 2006
Time: 3:03 p.m.
My adviser arrives. Still no lights.

Date: March 28, 2006
Time: 4:02 p.m.
The lights go on. I present to my adviser. The panel arrives. I present to them.

They went "Wow!" when they saw my 3D model.

They went "Hmm..." when they noticed that my layout was a bit too simple.

They went "Hmmmm..." when they spotted several errors and realized that my system is missing a few validation processes.

Picture my panelists discussing my SP amongst themselves, while I, sitting right beside them, am finally starting to get nervous. I felt really really really small at that point.

Small and invisible.

And then went "OK."

Date: March 28, 2006
Time: 8:00 p.m.
We arrive back in QC, and I disappear into my PC again to work on the revisions.

Date: March 30, 2006
Time: 9:00 a.m.
I arrive back in Los Baños earlier than I expected, but it was fine. I had to process my "papers", anyway. My adviser had me present my SP to several lowerclassmen who happened to be in the room at the time. The kids went "Wow" when they saw the 3D tour, and had all sorts of questions about how I did stuff in the system. Now, thinking back, I think either they got (a) excited to do their SP, or (b) got nervous because the SPs seemed so... impressive. I know I was nervous when I was a sophomore.

And then my adviser nods and says "OK."

I ask her, "So...that means I'll be graduating, right?"

Just to be sure.

She says "Yes."

-----------------------------------------------

And so, the graduate, my friends, among others...

...is me.

Thank you, God!

Friday, March 17, 2006

Waiting...

...not in vain, I hope.

I'm finding out once again that waiting really is very very hard and nerve-racking and can just drive people insane.

But still, I wait.

I'm giving out a HUGE "thank you!!!" to everyone who helped with my previous dillema. That'll be... Blitz... and... uh.... Blitz. Yey for Blitz!

And, oh yes, Sara, for her Flash book which I clung on to for dear life as I dove into Actionscripting. And Beth for trying to help me with Java3D. And I think Loraine is also worthy of special mention, because I think I've ranted to her about my misfortunes the most. Right, Lori?

I also would like to thank those who were not able to help in any... uh... "compsciatic" type of way, but have tried to help. There are so many of you, so I shall not list all of you down. Your support is absolutely precious to me, and for that, I thank you.

No, I am not receiving an Academy Award.

And, no. My SP is not done yet. Not officially, anyway.

Here's an update. After combing through my options, I decided to go with Flash. Following Blitz's advice, I went to look for a 3D program called Bryce.

I did not find Bryce anywhere.

But, deciding that I must not leave Circle C empty-handed, I decided to buy an installer --- any installer --- of any 3D program. However, none of them seem appealing. But, stubborn as I am, I decided to look through mp3 CDs instead. Music to sooth my frustrated mood, I said. Among the stack of the mp3 CDs I was looking at, I chanced upon a CD that seemed to have gotten lost. It was an installer of a program called Swift3D.

Never heard of it.

I looked at the description on the back, and --- viola! It's a 3D modelling tool which has a model-to-swf converter.

Oh mhay ghulay, rainbow na makulay.

I bought it. I tried it. I learned it in one day.

And, so I locked myself in my room for about a month, spending quality time with my husband --- the computer --- and I barely left the house to the point that others actually comment that I've become... well... less tan than I was before.

Ha. Yeah, right.

Anyway. I locked myself in my room, and I think I even offended my mom because of that. I even disappeared from church ministry for a while. And, since I took a leave off work, I didn't have no money, so I had no way of getting anywhere from the house. So... yey. Me and my PC. Very exciting.

And then, after I finished my SP -- goodness, that feels so great to say/type/whatever -- I started to rejoin the rest of the living world.

And now, I'm waiting for word from my adviser. See, I can't just show up in Los Baños and say "Hey! I'm here! I'm going to present my SP! Let me graduate!" I so wish I can do that, but alas, I cannot. So therefore, I'm waiting for my adviser's go signal. And while I'm doing that, I play with my SP all day, trying to spot errors, bugs, and things to improve. As I expected, there was still a lot of wrinkles to iron out.

I'm hoping to get to LB next week. So... I ask you again to pray for my defense. That I would not be tongue-tied, that I would have confidence, that I would be able to explain things properly, and that the panel won't be deathly strict with me.

I'll make another thank you speech when I'm officially done.

Till then, I disappear -- with a poof and lots of mysterious smoke from the smoke machine -- once again.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

somebody rescue me

What's been causing me to be uncharacteristically cranky and quiet-- and my eyebags to be extra dark -- is, ironically, something that is represented by two letters, which also happens to be the first two letters in my initials.

S.

P.

And now, I'm at a terrible, terrible dillema, and I SO need your opinion/help/whatever.

If I know you in real life, then I may have explained this to you already. But it's also possible that I have not. So I'm going to explain it all over again.

My SP -- Special Problem (or thesis, as it is more commonly known) -- involves a website of a school whose office is actually a house. What I'm supposed to do is make a 3D model of the school, which will the the first thing the user will see upon entering the website. The user is supposed to be able to use the cursor keys (or the mouse. whatever) to walk through the halls, and look around. There are a few clickable things that will lead to different parts of the website (which will be in plain ol' HTML). Since the house is small, I am to make it as realistic and as detailed as possible.

The rest of the website -- the HTML part -- is done, by the way. And before anybody asks, the Methodology and the Results parts of my paper isn't done. Of course.

One of my panelists (who resigned last year) told me to use Java 3D. And, for the life of me, I've been trying to understand Java3D for a whole freakin' year, but I still can't master it. And the coding is so freaking tedious, especially since I'll be making details like the shelves, the tables, the posters on the walls, etc. I don't know why I can't grasp Java3D, really. A lot of people seem to like it, and I happen to like plain ol' Java (or at least I did when I was still using it a few years back). But now it's got "3D" attached to the end...For some reason, it escapes me.

Since it's oh-so-detailed... I've been considering using Flash, instead. But the problem is I have no background on Flash. I already got some tutorials, and I borrowed a book on Flash animation. But every time I start to read and study it, I begin to doubt my (sort of) decision, so I slink back to trying my luck with Java3D again without making progress in Flash.

Right now, all I have on my J3D program are the walls and the floor. Absolutely no details yet (no ceiling yet, even!), but the navigation thingy is working already, so I can walk through the place. I've been looking for a program that'll let me design the model without the tedious code (sorta like Dreamweaver for websites), but I haven't found any. Oh, scratch that. I DID find one caled Jicasso, but it's way too basic, and it didn't help me any.

So here I'm thinking: should I just stick to Java 3D since I've got it started and it's what my former prof recommended (though I still have LOADS to model, and I have to learn properly using the classes), or do I switch to Flash which will probably give me an easier time in drawing the details and all the browsers recognize it, unlike Java3D (but I have to learn it from SCRATCH, and doesn't actually support 3D...although I can probably use animation tricks, and test my drawing prowess, to make it *look* 3D)?

What do you think?

Oh, yes. I almost forgot: Due date is the last week of February (though everybody says it's gonna be postponed). Fun, isn't it?

Then again, I can just opt to tell my professor: "FLUNK ME!" and I can make another SP proposal altogether. One that I can think over and plan over the summer, so I can be SURE I can finish it within a year. Although choosing to do that will mean that I'll be delaying my graduation for yet another year (meaning I'll be TWO years delayed)...

It seems to be dangerously appealing at the moment.

Again, I ask: Watcha think?

Hit me.

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

ka-BOOM

Funny how somthing can spiral down right smack in the beginning of the year. Or maybe it's been spiralling down, but I was just ignoring it. This tells me one thing, and one thing only (or maybe a lot of things, but this one just stands out):

You gotta face the problem head on, because if you don't, it just gets bigger and bigger until it explodes in your face at the most inconvenient times.

Have a happy new year, everyone.

This is Sarah, signing off.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

long day cont'd

Ahaha.

As it was on Monday, my day started 5:30 AM. Got to LB after three hours, and, this time, the right amount of students were walking around in the campus. Because I possess the magic word (which I've possessed for four sems now), I got to talk to Tita Ofel in no time. I give her my photocopy of the (CompSci) Department's copy of my True Copy of Grades.

Man, that sounded weird.

Anyway, I got my Form 5. I filled it out, cross Oble's Island and got to ICS. To tell the truth, I was dreading facing my adviser that day, but, luckily for me, my adviser wasn't coming in for the week. And for the reg, she got Sir Leo to take care of us. YEY!

Quick note: Don't get me wrong. I don't hate my adviser or anything like that. I just don't have a face to show her yet >_< ARGH!!!!!!!!!!

So I had to wait for another hour. And, no I didn't eat because I stayed at the office so I can be first in line. Once the break is over, I finally had my form countersigned, I finally had it assessed, and I finally got to pay the enrollment fee, which was a measly P40. And then I was on my way back to QC again.

Yey. The day was tiring, as usual, but at least my mission was finally accomplished. And thatm my friends, is the end of the Enrollment Chronicles '05. Let's hope there won't be an '06.

Monday, November 07, 2005

long day

The past year, the registration period seems to be getting more and more interesting.

Not to mention draining.

But I guess it's all good in the end.

My day started at 5:30 am. I woke up, got ready, and headed off to good ol' Mt. Makiling. Ah, yes, I miss my mountain. After three hours of travel, I finally arrive... to find the campus lacking the throngs of graduating students that I had expected.

Oh, well, I thought. All the better for me.

Emphasis on the word thought.

As it turns out, I was misinformed. As in three people told me the same wrong thing. The registration period in UPLB starts on November 8, not 7. That's tomorrow, not today.

HOE?!

Great. So my three hour, P94.25 travel was for nothing?!

I went to the college secretary anyway, and, as expected, the Tita Ofel (the college sec's secretary in charge of CompSci students) told me that I couldn't enroll today. I asked her repeatedly if she could make an exception because i came all the way from QC just to pay a measly P40 for residency, blah blah blah, but to no avail. And to make mattersworse, my grades from last sem had not been sent to the UPLB office yet. So I had to go back to UP Diliman, get my TCG, and then go back to LB to enroll.

Argh.

So I had to leave LB 15 freakin' minutes after I arrived.

Perfect.

When I got to Diliman, I actually forgot that I needed a TCG, not a TOR. Blame it on my frustration about the seemingly fruitless travel. So I went straight to th Registrar's office and read the sign that told me that students applying for TOR must bring a 1"x1" picture.

Argh!

So I went back home to get pictures. By then I was hungry (I hadn't eaten anything yet), tired, and hot. And frustrated.

I ate lunch, freshened up a bit, got the pictures, and headed back to UP. Once I got to the OUR, I suddenly realized that maybe I needed a TCG and not a TOR. While I was debating whether or not I should make my forgetfulness obvious and call Tita Ofel, reenforcements arrive in the form of Sara. After a few minutes of texting, asking questions and sighing for another hundred times, my answer arrived: I only needed a TCG, which I can get at my College.

So off we go to get a tour of UP on the way to Engineering.

There, we went back and forth to the CS Department to the Engg Admin, trying to convince the staff to give me a TCG. And then, finally, finally I get my photocopy of the Department's copy of the TCG.

Then, seeing that our mission for the day was accomplished. Sara and I went for Chocolate.

FINALLY.

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr....

Tomorrow, I shall go back to LB again. Another three hours of travel. I hope, this time, I'll finally get enrolled.

But good things happened today, as well:

First, I realized that it was good that the reg period in LB hadn't started yet. Otherwaise, I would've had a hard time locating and talking with Tita Ofel, not to mention I'd have been intercepted by people asking for the yearbook.

Secondly, I found that my grade in CS135 was not 3.0. It was 2.0! Weeeeeeee!!! How that happened is beyond me, but I am absolutely not complaining.

And third... Uh... I had an excuse to spend money on choklit! XD

My day, for those interested, partially ended at 6:30 pm, when I arrived home and flopped on my bed.

It shall end officially when I've rested my tired feet on my fluffy pillow, and my head on my sleepy Meggie pillow. I think that'll be in... about 10 minutes.

Monday, October 17, 2005

three

Not one, not two, but three. Three simple words made me feel light-headed in one second, and, in the next, jumping around with joy.

Let me start from the beginning. Well, not really the beginning... it's kinda mid-way, but---... anyway, just read on.

I was minding my own business this afternoon, quietly studying. Or at least I was trying to study. It was cloudy outside, which means it was going to rain, which means it's time to be contemplatative. It was the perfect weather for my mind to drift away, much to my academic self's dismay. I caught myself once again staring out the window, and I shook my head to try to keep focused. A very hard task at times like this. Just when I was about to start reading again, my cellphone caught my attention.

"Funny," I thought, "I don't remember putting it on silent."

The caller ID flashed Rene, my groupmate's name, and I literally felt my insides flip-flop with dread. But, of course, I should've expected her to call today, anyway.

"Hello?"

"Sarah..." came her voice. It was quiet and slow, and I felt my heart pounding. Really.

"Yeah?"

"I was chatting with Sir on YM..." 'Sir' being our professor.

"And?"

"And... well..."

And, well WHAT?! I wanted to scream at her. I've been nervous practically every single minute for the past two weeks, and the dramatic pause wasn't helping any.

"Sarah, you passed."

There they were. The three words that I could've sworn I heard, but almost didn't believe hearing. I sort of expected Rene to suddenly say, "Nah, just kidding!" though I couldn't think of any reason why she would pull a prank like that. So, I said the only thing I could think of.

"WHAT?!" I yelled at her, sitting up so abruptly, I was surprised my bed didn't make a sound -- my bed creaks at the slightest movement --- or maybe I just didn't hear it.

And then Rene was laughing on the other line.

"Are you SURE?"

"Yes, dear, I'm sure."

"What did he say, exactly?"

"Well, first I asked him if I needed to take the finals. He said, no, I didn't, because I already passed. And then I go, 'Sir, what about my groupmate Sarah Cada?' He goes, and I quote, 'Sarah? She passed, too. She's graduating in LB, right?'"

It was then that my doubts were completely banished from the face of the earth, my lips formed a really wide grin, and I began jumping around like I was a lunatic.

The next few minutes involved me exclaiming possibly incoherent statements of joy that I can't even remember, congratulating and thanking my groupmate lavishly, and running (jumping) around the house telling everyone the good news.

To those who don't know: the reason why this is such important news is because this is my last course to take, and because my midterm standing was a 5.0, and my prefinal standing was 4.0, and I had worked for seven days (three of which I practically shut myself out from the living world) on a project that could pull my grades up to passing, so I wouldn't have to take my 6-hour final exam. And it did. Oh, man.

I'm still not over it, and to be honest, I can't believe I just wrote what I wrote. I just told Loraine (who was cheering me to update my blog) that I can't write now because I probably can't write anything that makes sense, due to the fact that my brain is still somewhat numb from euphoria. But, hey, lookie here. It looks like my creative streak is back.

Ah, yes. Life is beautiful.

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

unreal

You say goodbye,
I say hello...

Whenever I have a fever, I get delirious. I guess that's only logical, but that's the way it's been since I was a small kid; I always dream of weird things, or even imagine things when I'm lying wide awake in bed. It's not a happy thing to experience, lemme tell ya. It always has something to do with something BIG and something teeny tiny in one setting. Proportions are extremely skewed. For example, I would see myself sitting on a chair, holding a basketball. A HUGE basketball. Like, five meters in diameter kind of huge. Oh, and my chair would look like it was made of toothpicks glued together. Every night -- or every minute, actually, since I sleep practically the whole day when I'm sick -- brought a surreal experience that I just can't describe properly.

When I had a fever last week, I didn't imagine such things, but I think it was worse. What I kept seeing in my dreams over and over and over is myself. Dying. Yes, dying. Since I had just gone through four days of a gruelling cross-registration process, my dreams were of me going to the registrar's office, stepping out of the Engineering building, or getting off a jeepney. And a second after I see myself, I suddenly get hit by a car, collapse in the middle of the road, get shot, or something else equally fatal. That was what was going on in my head for one whole day. It was unnerving, to say the least. I think the only good thing about it is that I knew it wasn't real. Now, that part was a relief. I hate it when dreams feel so real, don't you?

***

Have you ever experienced receiving a text message, and then be absolutely overcome with shock with what you read that you have NO reaction whatsoever aside from numbly sitting there? Have you ever experienced wanting to chuck your cellphone into the thunder and rain outside after the message finally sinks in? Have you ever wanted to have the ability to teleport to the sender's current location just so you could strangle her and demand her to tell the truth?

I thought seeing "big and small" was surreal. I thought repeatedly watching myself die was unnerving. Heck, I thought discovering that one of my friends was pregnant was shocking. Combine all those three, and it still won't compare to finding out that one of your friends died of a heart attack.

You know how, when someone dies in movies, the character who's a friend of that person says, "I was talking to him just minutes ago!" I used to think that, sure, yeah, that's realistic. It's fine to react like that about something surprising. But I guess I finally understand how it feels to be in those shoes. I know I've already experinced death in the family, but...I dunno. It's different when it's a friend, probably because we love people in different ways in different levels of affection.

It's weird, though. I'm not exactly wailing about it, but of course, I'm sad. I guess the reason why it was so surprising is... well, it's a shocker. I mean, no one's prepared for it. Yeah, we all knew he had a slight heart problem, but he hadn't had attacks recently. Sure, he could be under stress, but he really isn't the type to get sick over academics, much less have a heart attack! I mean, he was playing video games when it happened, for crying out loud.

*sigh*

The world sure is full of surprises. And she just lost another great guy who can actually be a cool older brother and an awesome programmer. But, as he would say, quoting the Beatles, obla-di obla-da, life goes on.

Our hat's off to you, man. See ya around.

I don't know why you say goo-bye,
I say hello...
Hello, hello...

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

of thwarted plans and migraines

I'm pretty sure all of us has experienced this.

Watching your plans crumble to pieces, I mean. You know this feeling, right? You're expecting something, and you have the next month planned out. Sure, you have a plan B and C (maybe even a D), but, somehow, when you see Plan A gets slapped back in your face, it kinda gets disorienting.

I woke up at 7 a.m. with my migraine from last night still pounding on my skull. So I go back to sleep. I wake up again at 8 (That means I slept for 12 hours! Whoa!). Then at 9. Then at 10:30, and, finally, at 11:30. If I hadn't set a lunch date, I probably wouldn't have gotten up, still. I hate migraines.

After my 30-minute lunch at KFC (to match the 30 minutes I stood in line). I was walking through Carabao Park to go to ICS when my cellphone vibrates in my pocket. I was expecting my adviser or Light to send me a text message about the petition. I was expecting that they'd tell me that the petition had been passed, and we can start the classes on Thursday. If it wasn't that, I was thinking I'd see a 'Follow it up tomorrow' on the screen. But, no. I see this:

"Sarah, they don't have teachers to teach the course this summer. The petition's denied."

Well, good morning to you, too.

Although, technically, it was already afternoon.

It was really weird. I had planned that if the petition wasn't good, I was going to go home. Easy, right? But, standing there in the middle of CPark under the frustrating heat of the sun -- and NO wind. ARGH! -- I felt... lost. I knew the next steps were: pack my things, go home, work on my SP and wait for next sem's registration. But I was just standing there, and I felt like I didn't know what to do. Oh, don't worry, it's not like I was having a nervous breakdown or anything. I was nowhere near that.

But it sure felt odd.

I talked to a bunch of people (teachers, to be specific), asking for advice on what to do. There were possibilities of cross-registration (although our academic director said it wasn't advisable), and some other suggestions not worth mentioning. Plans E, F, and G were added to my list, and it made things WAY too confusing and tentative. The COMSCI wheels in my head start to turn, and, right now, I'm seeing graphs in my head, and I'm trying to figure out the shortest path...

Uh...yeah.

Summary: I won't be a student this summer. I'll be working on my ever-lovable SP, but I won't be enrolled. Nyerf.

I accumulated another 10 hours in my fave net shop, so this is for free. So, yeah. Getting an hour of net time before I go home.

Monday, April 18, 2005

holding area

A holding area in the scope of aviation, as I understand it, is a racetrack-shaped area where planes cirlce around until they get a slot to land in the airport.

My brothers and I watched Air Crash Investigation yesterday on National Geographic. There's this Avianca plane that crashed (literally fell of the sky) because they ran out of fuel. And they ran out of fuel because they were held in a stormy holding area for an hour.

I'm a holding area right now.

I'm stuck in LB with nothing to do.

SUPPOSEDLY I'm attending summer classes and doing my ever-lovable (read: sarcasm) SP. But noooo~. I am not.

I think everyone who has had a chance to talk to me within the past month knows that I failed a major. CMSC142. Tough luck for us graduating students, it ain't offered on summers. Yeah. Very cruel. So, we go and petition for the subject, right? I came to LB last week (Thursday) to take care of that, spending 4 hours to and from LB to stay in the campus for 1 measly hour. Ah, well, at least I was productive.

Monday rolls around, I get up at 5:30 am (This is a VERY odd time for me becuase this is usually the hour I go to sleep.) so I can get to LB at 8, so I can go ahead and register my course.

Guess what? The petition isn't passed to the Vice Chancellor yet. Why? Because no teacher wants to teach CMSC 142 to 15 kids. Rawr. So, they're still looking for a teacher, they say. Wait for updates, they say.

Fine.

Again, tough luck for me, because now, I have N-O-T-H-I-N-G to do. Possible activities:
(1) Kon: He's back in QC. *sniff sniff*
(2) SP: Refer to #1
(3) Writing: Writer's block.
(4) Drawing: Tried it. Everything I draw doesn't look like anything REMOTELY like what I want it to look like.
(5) Friends: Vacationing in their respective hometowns, or in their classes
(6) Sleep: Tried it, and my head hurt.

So what do I do? I spend money. >_< NOT good. I spent six hours online today doing nothing. Well, OK, it's not nothing. I feasted my eyes on fantastic work by DA artists, read some fanfics, cleaned my mailboxes, searched for scanlations (but I didn't fine the one I was looking for)....

And now, I think I'm getting a migraine.

travel + 10*(rain + sun) + boredom + guilt of burning money = migraine

I was planning on waiting for people to chat with, but I've beem here for SIX hours. Ouch for my wallet. So, yeah. I think it's about time I went offline.

Sunday, March 13, 2005

3D

My goodness...

This is one of the downsides of being a computer science student... You can pore over your code for HOURS and not have any output... You can go over your code a gazillion times and not find the bug. And then, you suddenly realize that the problem is one freaking misplaced comma. Sheesh.

And then, a few seconds after practically whining, you suddenly leap up and jump around the room (scaring the lights out of your roommates in the process) when a simple "Hello World" appears on the screen.

Hehe. I LOVE my course...

My universe is revolving around 3D right now... Universe...
Represented using a tree data structure built from the components leaf node, groupnodes, and node components...

...

OK. That was scary...

*ahem* Ah, well... I hope my time to jump around with joy comes soon... If only I could just "hocus-pocus-abra-cadabra!" the tiles to appear on the floor i'm trying to draw...

Haaaay, life.

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

countdown

got three more weeks...

just three freakin' weeks....

somehow i wish it was longer...

*disappears back into her PC*

Monday, March 07, 2005

Katamaran

Sa mga nais na magbasa ng isang malalim-lalim na sulating Tagalog, mangyari lamang na magtungo sa http://www.xanga.com/fuyusarah.

Mabuhay ang kalayaan.

EDIT/
I decided to put this on here, instead of linking it.

----------

I love PI100.

Sounds unbelievable, I know, but I do.

I'm serious!

PI100 is my favorite subject this sem. Nyaharharhar. Check this out if you have the guts to.

---------

"Hay, nako, ang Pilipino nga naman. Napakatamad."

Napakaraming beses ko nang narinig ang ganito sa kalsada, na para bang hindi Pilipino ang nagsabi. Sa kasulukuyan, tila tanggap na ng mga Pilipino na tamad ang kanilang lahi. Naisin man niyang magbago, nawawalan na siya ng pag-asa dahil sa nakikita niya sa kaniyang paligid. 'Ika nga, "ang iyong pinahihintulutan, hindi mo mababago kailanman". Bago pa man natin magawan ng paraan ang isang problema, kailangang malaman muna nating malaman kung ano ang ugat ng problema.

Isinulat ni Dr. Jose Rizal ang kanyang mga kuro-kuro tungkol sa paksang ito sa "Tungkol sa Katamaran ng mga Pilipino". Ang katamaran mismo ay hindi isang kasamaan, kundi "ang pagsasagawa at pagpapaunlad nito". Hindi naman kinakailangan na manahin ng bawat henerasyon ang katamaran ng nakatatanda, subalit, dahil nakasanayan na ito, mahirap na itong tanggalin. Pero, kung titingnan sa ating kasaysayan, marami ang mga tala tungkol sa kasipagan ng Pilipino. Masikap silang nangangalakal sa mga ibang bansa, at masagana ang lupang kanilang tinatrabaho. Mukhang ang katamaran ay nagsimula lamang nang dumating ang mga Kastila.

Para maging makatarungan, hindi naman ang mga Kastila mismo ang sanhi ng katamaran, kundi ang kanilang mga inasal tungo sa mga Pilipino noong panahong iyon.

Ang pagtrato ng mga enkomendero sa kanilang mga tauhan ay isa sa mga nakatulong na palaguin ang katamaran ng Pilipino. Ang tabahador ay nagsisikap, pero hindi naman niya nakukuha ang nararapat sa kanya. Isang baliw -- o kaya naman isang santo -- lamang ang magtratrabaho para sa wala. Hindi ba't ang tao'y gumagawa upang siya'y mabuhay? Paano na kung ang nakukuha niya para sa kanyang pawis ay kulang pa para sa kanyang hapunan?

Ang isa pang maaring patubig sa katamaran ay ang konsepto ng himala. Tinuruan ang mga Pilipino na manalig sa Panginoon, at maghintay ng milagro. Wala naming mali dito. Ang masama ay ang pag-abuso ng mga kura sa pananampalataya ng mga Pilipino: nagbibigay ang mga mananampalataya ng alay sa Diyos, pero kinukuha lang din naman ng kura.

Isa pa ang edukasyon. Oo't pinag-aral nila ang mga Pilipino noon. Pero, matapos ang lima o sampung taon, maririnig lang ng estudyanteng Pilipino na ang lahat ng ping-aralan niya ay bale wala dahil siya ay sadyang pang-bukid lamang, kasama ng kanyang kalabaw. Mula pagkabata ay naririnig na ng Pilipino na hindi para sa kanya ang kuwan, na nanggaling siya sa lahing mababa, na wala siyang mararating, na hindi siya karapat-dapat sa mga gawain ng mga Espanyol. Mula pagkabata, pinupukpok na sa Pilipino na kailangan siyang maging mala-makina, na dapat siyang makinig sa lahat ng sasabihin ng kura, na hindi dapat siya umangal at tanggapin na lamang lahat nang sasabihin sa kanya.

Kung titingnan ang mga pinakamauunlad na bansa sa kasulukuyan, sila ang mga pinaka-liberal. Ang mga mamamayan niya ay yaong may espasyo na magsaad ng nilalaman ng isip at puso. Yaong may "kalayaan upang mabigyan ng pakapak ang kanyang diwang makipagsapalaran".

Maaaring ipinanganak tayong may katamaran, pero walang karapatan ang sino man na ikahon na lang tayo bilang "tamad, at magiging tamad habang-panahon". Lahat naman ng bagay ay maaaring gawan ng paraan kung gugustuhin.

Nakalulungkot na kahit ilan daang taon na ang nakalipas mula nang tayo�y nakatamo ng kalayaan, ganito pa rin ang nakaukit sa ating isipan: na ang banyaga ang tama. Na sila ang mas magaling. Na sila lang ang may karapatang makaangat. Tayong lahat ay tao lamang, tayong lahat ay nanggaling lamang kay Adan at Eba. Hindi ba't tayong lahat ay may kakayahang makapunta sa mga kamangha-manghang lugar?

Siyempre, oo.

---------

A summary/reaction paper. "Tungkol sa Katamaran ng Pilipino" is 30 freakin' pages. Gimme some credit here :D

Monday, February 28, 2005

fuyu, you are a student

browsing in DA kinda stirred up the artist inside me (yeah, it's deep, deep inside me... so deep, it takes forever to resurface..sometimes i wonder if it's even there at all). every time i check out other people's work, i want to run home and practice drawing again (it's been forever since i last drew something decent).

but, timing is everything.and this is NOT the right time for that.

it would've been so much fun if i get paid to write and draw. but, alas, i am not. i am a student. which means i have work to do.

a LOT of work to do.

yeah.

i'm going back to convincing myself to work, now.

Friday, February 18, 2005

Alab

I never thought 10 seconds can be so eventful.

We had our dorm's Open House last night. We got food. LOTS of food. No, wait, that's THE understatement of the day. We simply had too much food. Gah. Like, we had more than 50 guests, and there was still food left enough to food 20 or so people! Sayang...

Anyway, the night was fun. Once again, I experienced being the in-demand hostess, runnning around, trying to serve people, but all the while I have to keep smiling and saying, 'Hi! OK ka lang dyan? Sandali lang, ha...' to all our other guests.

...

Wait, I'm getting sidetracked.

Hmm....Let's backtrack, shall we? I'm going into Sarah-the-author mode now...

********

Clean room, check.

Great party sounds, check.

Lots of food, check.

Decors...candle lamps, bats on the ceiling, orange lights... Check!

Everything was in place. Now, the only thing missing was my guests. The room had been prepared for the past hour (and I'd been checking and rechecking the room for the past hour), but no one's arrived yet. Oh well, it's just 6:30, isn't it? The knock on the door snapped me out of my reverie.

"Hao!"

"Hi, Sarah-chan!" It was Lester.

"Good thing you found our room! The first floor didn't freak you out, did it?"

The grin on his face was enough of an answer.

See, the theme for the Open House had been Holloween (on a February, no less!), thus explaining the pretty realistic bats above our heads. The decors on the hallway had been WAY creeper. When guests enter our building, a disembodied girl -- a manequinn, of course -- greets them, and eerie Gregorian chants fill their ears... The trip to the second floor is even creepier, because there are bloody footprints on the floor. *shrudder*

Anyways, back to my room. After Lester arrived, we talked for a few minutes about the topic we dread most (yeah, the two-letter word I would not dare write).

"Ate Sarah!" came a voice on my doorway.

"Hi, Aiza! Come in!" I said, standing up with a huge smile.

But that huge smile waned when Aiza's excited look was replaced with one I can only describe as fear. At first I thought she was too sucked into the Halloween mood, she had started to imagine things.

That is, until she pointed to the window and yelled, "Ate, may sunog!!!"

Wha~?

I turned to the window, and, literally 2 feet away from Lester, the crepe paper hangings on our window was on fire. Some of our food was in flames, too.

I panicked. And when I panic, everything seemed to freeze.

But, now that I think about it, I think everything DID freeze, except for that freaking fire on my window.

Van screamed in surprise.

That was Lester's cue to yell "GAH!" and frantically look left to right for something --- anything --- to put out the fire.

That was my cue to yell "TUBIG!", my feet fighting with themselves if they were going to run for the bathroom to get some or not.

That was Van's cue to go "SAGLIT, SAGLIT!" She tore across the room, almost knocking my fan over, and snatched her bottle of water in the corner of the room (for some reason, that corner seemed so far away at that moment) and literally splashed the contents on the opposing fire. Lester helped out by "patting" the fire out (I imagine that if it had been on the floor instead of on my desk that was full of food, he would have kicked at the flaming paper violently).

"Ayun pa! Ayun pa!"

*SPLASH!*

For two more grueling seconds, we stared at the scene of the disaster, trying to see if anything else was still burning.

Until Meg laughed.

"WOW!"

"Oh. My. GOODNESS!" I joined in. "That was... that was...."

"I can't believe I sense it...It was just behind me!" Lester exclaimed, making me laugh even harder. I guess the early bird DOES get the worm.

Note, dear readers, that everything (until that time we were finally able to breathe) all happened in 10 seconds.

It turns out that the culprit was one of our lamps (the ones with candles in them) that had been myseriously placed near the window. Odd, no one remembered who put it there. As a result, we put out all the lamps and placed them outside the room, instead.

Thirty minutes later, when we were cleaning the wet desk, I still couldn't get over the fact that there was a freaking fire in my room. And right beside my bed, too!

Man!

********

Good thing most of our food wasn't affected, and after we had cleaned up before other guests arrived, it didn't look like there was a fire at all (except that our window hangings were obvisously less than before, and the window screen was scorched, and part of my bed was damp with water).

I think that was THE most exciting Open House I've had. Quite fitting because it's the last one I'll ever have, too.

The night went by smoothly, the fire was the topic of the night, and it was fun, especially meeting my roommates' friends. By 12 midnight, my other roommates had gone down to the fair grounds, while I ate some cake and went sound-tripping. I never go out on Open House night, see, partly because I was tired, partly because... Well, I just want to. The past years, I always had a movie marathon with my roommates. But this year I was alone (not that I minded). The events on the fiar grounds last night didn't appeal to me as much as the previous nights did, anyways. I decided to start cleaning up, so I did.

By 1 am, my bed looked über appealing.

The next thing I knew, it was 9:30 a.m., I was still in my clothes from last night, and I was late for my 10 am class where I was supposed to report.

GAH!

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Monday Group

In elementary school, there was this concept of 'cleaners'... the dreaded assignment. The class was grouped into five, and each group was assigned to be the cleaners for a specific day. The cleaners for the day had to come in early and leave late. I always volunteered to scrub the platform in front of the room; it was wood so it was easier to scrub than concrete. Some kids in my school had joked about it, and tried to make the burden lighter by declaring that, instead of being the cleaners for the day, we were actually the actors for the day; much like in the show, "That's Entertainment", where there was the Monday Group, the Tuesday Group, and so on.

There was this one instance when one rich, snobby classmate was assigned to be in a group with me. She said, "That's true: I am an actress. I'm not accustomed to such menial tasks!" (of course, since we were 9 years old then, she didn't state that in such a manner). One of my other groupmates laughed -- he was the one who called us the actors in the first place -- and said, "Really? Prove to me, then, that you are an actress. Go and act as if you're cleaning!" Needless to say, this male groupmate of mine earned my respect. Even now, I'm impressed by him. Imagine, he was 9 years old then, and he had thought up that idea! Suffice it to say that his willingness to clean was simply admirable.

I wish everyone was like that, willing to clean, I mean. OK, so I admit that my room isn't one to be considered as a model for magazines, but I think I'm willing clean when I need to. Just like last night.

February 14th of 2005, aside from being Valentine's Day, was the start of the February Fair for UPLB. [On a side note: I found out last night that UP Los Baños was the first to hold a February Fair in the UP System! Ha! Imagine that...] It was fun, of course, but the events aren't the focus of this piece. My focus is the people.

I had seen three FebFairs so far (not including this one). And, every morning, I would be taken by surprise when I leave my dorm and see the Fair grounds: it resembled a ghost town. There were no people around, just empty booths and a few pieces of paper flying across the field. You wouldn't think that it was jam-packed the night before. I was simply impressed that the people were actually self-disciplined to keep the ground clean.

Now, let me make something clear: I know that, generally, Filipinos tend to just throw trash wherever and whenever they want to. This I find absolutely irritating, but I've come to just accept it. But UP students, though, I expect to be more responsible. That they would have the initiative -- not to mention common sense -- to pick up their own trash. I mean, it IS their trash, right? So it isn't as icky as picking up other people's trash. I thought it'd be one of the ways they could express their gratitude for being a scholar of the state. I thought they were the ones who initiated to keep the ground clean.

But nooo~... When I stayed to the very end of the program last night, I was shocked when I scanned the Fair grounds. There was trash everywhere, both biodegradable and non-biodegradable. I just HAD to shake my head. We're in UP for crying out loud! Forgive me for being so idealistic, but...

GAH!!!

My goodness.

I saw a couple of my friends from my org picking up the trash, and I decided to join them. We started from the very end of the Freedom Park, and combed our way to the other end. (To those who don't know: the UPLB Fair grounds is about two to three times as big as the closed area during the fair in UP Diliman) What totally bites is that a LOT of students saw us picking up, and they didn't even decide to help!

That's another GAH.

There were about 10 of us, add about three street kids volunteering to help out. HA! I can't believe I would actually rank UP students lower than street kids in terms of initiative... It took us two hours to finish picking up trash in the area (the org tambayans NOT included), and when I looked back and scanned the field again, I couldn't stop smiling. It was so nice to see dark green grass (remember, this was already during the wee hours of the morning) without white and silver things scattered all over it.

Strange as it may sound, I felt totally happy.

Thursday, February 10, 2005

seriousness

Unless you simply want to torture me, don't, I repeat, do NOT ask me about my SP. I'm begging you. If you do, you might as well be slicing my arm and alternately spraying vinegar and sand on the wound. I am NOT kidding. And I won't be explaining why, either, because doing that will just be equivalent to answering the question I just told you not to utter.

So there.

Saturday, January 29, 2005

The List

COLLEGE OF ARTS AND SCIENCES
LIST OF GRADUATING STUDENTS
April 2005
...
...
BS COMPUTER SCIENCE
...
...
2001-19289 Cada, Sarah Pauline V.

~~~~

OK, so I already know I'm going to graduate on April. But, somehow, seeing it in print in an official bulletin board brought butterflies in my stomach.

Call me a cheesy, sentimental girl, but standing there, my college life flashed through my mind in O(1) speed.

I saw myself going to class 30 minutes before it actually starts...
...myself crying because I got a 2.5 in my history exam ("Why is it soooo low?! I studied!!!")
...my first computer science courses: CMSC2 and 11
...the dreaded Math series I staggered out of;
...my first 3.0 in my class card (curse you, NASC2!)
...my first 5.0 (Math 28... *sniff sniff*)
...the Guinto series
...the majors
...the sleepless nights
...the time when I totally wished I was dead instead of doing what I wa doing ("What if PhySci suddenly crashed down because of an earthquake?")
...the times I TOTALLY loved my course ("CompSci dabest!!!")...

Now, here I am, 17 measly units away from that sablay.

Man, what a ride.

Thursday, January 20, 2005

the two questions

Remember that time in high school when everyone was excited over the coming college entrance exams? Students got application forms from several schools, and they bring it to class, discussing with friends which course they were gong to take. Everyone taking the UPCAT particularly ask each other a gazillion questions: which campus to choose, what a particular course really is, if it was worth five years, if that was the course for them...

Well, that "phase" is back, except it's the next level. It's the "I'm looking for work!" phase.

COSS week is here --- COSS being Computer Science Society, for those who don't know --- and they have the annual Career Orientation. People from several companies came, speaking to us about...well...career options. Suddenly, all of us were asking each other where we were going to work, how to make a decent resumé, what the requirements were for the PAL exam tomorrow, if there was a job opening in Accenture for graphics designers and web designers as there were in LinkSphere... and, of course, THE two questions we all unconsciously ask ourselves everyday:

Bakit ka nag-computer science?

'Yun ba talaga ang gusto mong course?

My goodness. When my friend said that aloud, I froze. Sure, it's not the first time someone asked me that (though it WAS the first time in almost a year), but, I don't know... I suppose being asked that when I was in such a seminar sent a chill down my spine. Don't get me wrong, though; I LOVE my course. I mean, I rarely say my course out loud without a "da best!" immediately after it.

CompSci da BEST!

Now, I already knew what my answer was supposed to be, and I could've answered right away, but, oddly, I was rendered speechless.

In the end, I never answered him.

Sunday, January 16, 2005

422.80

Imagine a bus bound for Los Baños. Imagine me in it. Imagine me getting my fare from my wallet. Picture me staring at the bill I was holding.

Keep that thought for 10 more seconds.

Now, imagine me s-l-o-w-l-y handing the money to the ticket guy, all the while still staring at it.

Yeah, that's what I looked like this morning, and I am *not* exaggerating. If the conductor were an anime character, it would be safe to guess that he had a sweatdrop on his head, and he' be thinking, "What the hell's wrong with this girl?!"

The reason for my odd behavior is my "trauma" (mind the quotes).

See, two weeks ago, I was on my way to LB, and I was --- as I always am when going to LB --- totally sleepy. I paid to the ticket guy, and he tells me that he'll give my change later when the other passengers have paid their fare. He says he doesn't have loose change since it's so~ early in the morning. I nod, and I eventually fall asleep.

I was jerked awake by my subconscious screaming "COLLEGE!" at me. We were already in Olivarez (this is where I get off), and nearly everyone getting off the bus have already...well, gotten off the bus. So I hurriedly run my fingers through my now-disheveled hair, and grab my bag, and run for the door. When I finally remember that I was supposed to get change, the bus was already gone.

Oh well, I thought, there's charity for you. After all, that was just loose change. So, I shrug it off, and I got on a jeepney, taking out what coins I have.

Reality hit me like a 10-wheeler truck, and I swear, I felt all my blood go up from my toes to my brain.

Instead of seeing around 900+ pesos in my wallet, I saw a single 500 peso bill. It was then that I remembered that my dad had given me two P500 bills instead of the usual hundreds. That meant I paid P500 to the ticket guy. That means I just donated four hundred and twenty-two pesos to the bus line.

"Crap."

Was it my fault that my allowance that week was suddenly chopped in half? Yes.

Was it entirely my fault that my allowance that week was suddenly chopped in half? I don't think so.

I mean, seriously. Being in the business, you'd think they already know that people will not have small bills early in the morning, expecially on a Monday. Shouldn't they be prepared? I'm pretty sure they have change from yesterday's earnings, right?

Thus, dear readers, that explains my behavior this morning. I was making sure that I was handing the man a hundred pesos, not 500.

Yeah, I didn't care if that ticket guy thought I was weird.

Saturday, January 15, 2005

Toggle

I discovered today that I can effectively turn on my cheery mode even when i don't feel like it. I've tried this before, but it didn't work. Sometimes my mood is totally rotten, nothing could cheer me up. Except maybe chocolate. Or a huge hug from a select group of friends, who can't be there right that moment (of course).

I haven't had sleep for the last three days. My one-hour nap on the bus this morning doesn't count. And it didn't feel like an hour at all. More like five minutes. The last time I did this (not sleeping for several days, I mean), it was the end of February, and nearly everyone in our batch was cramming to submit our projects in Software Engineering. That lasted for about 2 months, but at least I get one or two hours of sleep every day.

When I lack sleep, I can be one of three things:
1) The Zombie
Appearance: eyes wide open
Brain status: totally frozen
Distinct characteristic: delayed reaction to anything and everything
Sentence of the day: "Huh?"

2) The Kid
Appearance: wide smile
Distinct characteristic: jumping around at every possible opportunity
Speaking speed: 120-360 words per minute
Brain status: unknown
Sentence of the day: "Huwaaaaa! Ang galing naman no'n!"

3) The Grouch
Appearance: stoic face
Distinct characteristic: drooping eyelids
# of words per minute: maximum of 10
Brain status: active
Sentence of the day: "Ewan."

On the bus this morning, I was the zombie. Of course, it didn't really matter because I had no one else to talk to except the ticket guy. But when I got home, I was strangely normal. Even when we went to the dedication of my newest über-cute cousin, I was normal. But the moment I got back home (and the rest of my family went to Pangasinan), I was back to zombie mode. Good thing ame had sent me a hilarious email, which luckily did for me what a hug would.

My schedule for the next several hours:
1) Download and test the stuff I need for my thesis
2) study what I got
3) go back to LB

So...yeah. That's life.

Thursday, January 13, 2005