When I’m Walking Next To You
by Acres

When I feel like I might fall
underneath the presure of it all
I think of You and it’s all right

When it’s dark beyond the door
and shadows trace my fears across the floor
I look at You and I see the light

All the inspiration that I need
is when I hear You calling out for me
And I will walk the only road that’s true
when I’m walking next to You

When I feel I’m doing this all wrong
and I jumble broken phrases in a song
You know how to speak through me

When I get tangled up in grief
and the remedies I take never offer up relief
I talk to You and I am free

All the inspiration to pull me through
is in the smallest hand I’ve ever held on to
And I will walk the only road that’s true
when I’m walking next to You

When I feel I can’t go on
and it seems a thousand years before the dawn
I reach for You and You keep me holding on

All the inspiration that I need
is when I hear You calling out for me
And I will walk the only road that’s true
when I’m walking next to You

Anyway. Last night I was supposed to meet Lori at 7. But because of unforeseen circumstances, I couldn’t make it, so we moved it to 8. But then I still couldn’t make it, so we had to cancel it. Which is a bummer because I had been looking forward to that. And it was even more a bummer because Lori had waited for me for nothing. Sorry, dear.

I was pretty bummed out so I decided to run errands at Megamall. And I didn’t get to do those errands because the stores I was supposed to get stuff from were already closed. BOO.

I guess I was pretty listless as I floated around Megamall just to blow off the bad vibes. I bought my favorite C2 drink to cheer myself up a little. And then I thought, “Hey, maybe I should look for the Chuck DVD again.” I’ve been looking for the Chuck Season 1 Box Set for months now, you see, but all the stores I’ve been to were always out of stock. I’ve been to all record and stores in Trinoma and SM North, but they all didn’t have it. Apparently, Megamall’s Odyssey and Video City didn’t have it when I went there last night, either.

But then, finally, I went to Astroplus. It was nearly 9 PM then, and the crowd was dangerously thinning. The staff was preparing to pack up, too. I was staring at the TV series rack…Chuck wasn’t there. I sighed and was about to turn around, ready to go back to the apartment and just sleep off the exhaustion when one of the sales girls spoke up.

“Can I help you?”

I turned to her and gave a small smile. “I’m looking for Chuck,” I said, knowing full well that she’d say that they didn’t have it, as all the video stores had told me before.

But then, she turned around to the shelf behind her. And she pulled out the Chuck Season 1 DVD set, saying, “It’s the last one. Maybe it’s here just for you, hm?”

I swear, I broke into a wide grin, clearly displaying how much of a fangirl I was.

“Yeah.”

When I got to the apartment, still grinning, I realized: the salesgirl was precisely right. The Chuck DVD was there just for me. And it was there for me at the perfect time. If I had gotten Chuck earlier or if it had been available in all stores then maybe I wouldn’t have had something to cheer me up on July 29th of 2009. Maybe I wouldn’t have that giddy feeling I felt when I saw it—like what a treasure hunter would feel upon seeing a concealed cave of priceless relics.

Yeah, the Chuck DVD is really a teeny tiny thing in the grand scheme of things, but I couldn’t help but compare it to other more important things. God has been like that with me, I think. He loves to surprise me with His blessings, and surprise me BIG TIME.

And that—not C2, not Chuck—was what kept a smile on my face until I finally fell asleep.

What is one Bible verse that made the biggest impact in your life? Share your verse and story with us!

So says the opening question in the latest discussion board topic, “What’s your life verse“, on Victory’s Facebook account. It’s encouraging to see other peoples’ life verses! My personal life verse is Proverbs 3:5-6.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

Came in really handy when I was a student and I could not, for the life of me, understand the stuff I was studying. Haha!

Check out the discussion board, and, by all means, join in the fun!

At this moment, the official Victory@25 website tells me that we have 63 days, 5 hours, 8 mintes and 34…33…32 seconds to go until the party. Aren’t you excited? I’m excited. Are you? I am!!!

I’m sure everybody’s excited, our office visibly so. Ever since the ball started rolling on the planning, there began a certain buzz in the office. Even when we weren’t actually talking about it, the thought was still there. At the back of our heads, we keep thinking: What promotional stuff can we do? What contests can we hold? Whose old 1980s big-hair-big-shoulderpads photos can we show? Whenever the I see or hear the anniversary teaser I get goosebumps all over, and a really big, giddy grin.

But, to be completely honest, this also must be said: if you step into my office, you can actually feel the tension and the stress that occasionally shoots up to high — and I mean really high — levels. I haven’t been able to make time to blog for a month now. There are times that I get home and I literally collapse on my bed — with my uniform and shoes on, and still holding my bags — and my roommates won’t see any sign of life until midnight, or even the next morning. There are even moments in the day when trying to think of ideas to make the event fun doesn’t seem so very fun anymore.

But you know what? It’s all good. Because, at the end of the day, this isn’t just an event. This isn’t even just a party to brag about how cool Victory is or whatever. This isn’t even about celebrating our work for the past months, or the past years and how big our numbers are now. This is God‘s party. This is to celebrate God, and how simply AWESOME He’s been to every single one of us in every single day in the last 25 years.

And that makes it all worth it.

Whenever I remember that, I get smiling again as I work, and life is sunshine and happiness all over again.

How about you? Has God been great to you in the past years? Are you going to the Araneta Coliseum on July 24th to celebrate His goodness? You are? Awesome.

Spread the word about the Victory@25! Connect to Victory in Multiply, Facebook, Friendster, Twitter, and Plurk! And don’t forget to visit VictoryAt25.com, too! See you there!

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Wag ka nang umiyak, sa mundong pabago-bago
Pag-ibig ko ay totoo
Ako ang iyong bangka, kung nagalit man
Ang alon ng panahon, sabay tayong aahon

Kung wala ka nang maintindihan
Kung wala ka nang makapitan
Kapit ka sa akin, kapit ka sa akin
Di kita bibitawan

Wag ka nang umiyak, mahaba man ang araw
Uuwi ka sa yakap ko
Wag mo nang damdamin kung wala ako sa ‘yong tabi
Iiwan kong puso ko sa yo

At kung pakiramdam mo’y wala ka nang kakampi
Isipin mo ako dahil puso’t isip ko’y
Nasa ‘yong tabi

But before we get to that, let’s get into context.

Tonight, I went to the Passion Conference here in Manila.

My night didn’t start well, actually. Chique and I were supposed to leave work at exactly 6 o’clock, but work came flowing in (as usual) at five, so I had to work extra fast to make our 6 o’clock deadline. I finished about 15 minutes behind schedule. And then it was raining mercilessly outside. ARGH!

Not to be discouraged, we charged forth and made it to the PhilSports arena by seven (I think). We ended up in the bleachers, which wasn’t my section of choice… Well, with young people lining up outside the stadium since lunchtime, I guess it wouldn’t really matter much if we got there at five.

There was a bit more time for me to take a deep breath and refocus my thoughts to the upcoming worship time (as opposed to the stress and traffic outside) so by the time the music started, I was up and ready. The praise and worship was crazy cool and terrific, but I think what made the night super special for me is what I learned. I got so much out of that short period of time (and I’m still trying to process all of it) but for now I’m only going to focus on one thing of the things that really struck me:

Most of us have an idea that our lives—compared to the expanse of the universe, the length of eternity and the greatness of God—is but a matchstick. When you light a matchstick, it’s super cool to look at as a hot fire blazes… But after several seconds, the fire runs out of stick, and all what’s left is a teeny tiny burnt piece of wood.

If that matchstick was my life, then I can say, “Wow, checkit! Look at my fire! I’m so cool and stuff!” (which may be true) but what happens when the fire runs out? What has my life been lived for? Did I get born just to study, graduate, get a job, live on my own, get a hubby, have kids, retire and then die?

If that were true then that’d be an awfully boring life.Read full post…

But what if my life was like a little matchstick that, after being lit, joins another fire… One that’s bigger and brighter and does not run out? My fire and the bigger fire become one, and, even if my matchstick runs out, my fire will always burn with the bigger fire. In short, even when I die, the fire that was what I did in my life would continue burning, because it’s part of a greater, mightier thing that God—the eternal, ever-living God—is doing in my generation, and the generations to come. That’s super awesome!

I’ve heard before that the things we do for God have eternal value, but hearing it like that, with the matchstick and all, really struck me tonight. I don’t want my life to be just 15 minutes of smokin’ fame; I want to be with that big, magnificent fire! I want my fire to be with his fire… and I want everyone—everyone—to be with me with his fire…

Thus my new favorite song.

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God of this City

You’re the God of this city
You’re the King of these people
You’re the Lord of this nation
You Are

For there is no one like our God
There is no one like our God

For greater things have yet to come
Greater things are still to be done in this city
Greater things are still to come
And greater things are still to be done here

You’re the Lord of Creation
The Creator of all things
You’re the King above all Kings
You Are

You’re the strength in our weakness
You’re the love to the broken
You’re the joy in the sadness
You Are

For greater things have yet to come
Greater things are still to be done in this city
Where glory shines from hearts alive
With praise for you and love for you in this city

Greater things have yet to come
Greater things are still to be done in this city
Greater things are still to come
And greater things are still to be done here

Needless to say, this song, coupled with the Word that was shared earlier and the fact that the 8,000-something-something young people filling the PhilSports Arena were singing this in one voice, gave me the goosebumps and brought me to tears.

Passion in Manila was an awesome experience.

But, I’m sure, what’s to come will be even more awesome.

So here I am, jumping into the fun.

In Campus Harvest Asia in 2006, I was part of the worship team, and I always said that my favorite part of it was getting a spectacular view of watching people—thousands and thousands of people—worship God passionately. In 2003 when I was part of the production team, I only got to peek from behind the curtains to see the people. But being on stage during worship time, and openly hearing songs of praise from around me was… it’s like a taste of heaven. Overwhelming, really, and sometimes I didn’t have time to wonder if I was still hitting the right notes…

This year, though, I wasn’t able to stand on that stage and lead worship like we did the last time. This time, I was working for the media center, and we were doing (almost) real-time updating of the site. But it’s funny: even though I wasn’t actually there in the venue, I felt like I was there, too, because I got to hear all the messages, and I was able to see all the photos. (And before anybody else outside the event, too! Haha!) The messages were GREAT, and even though the event was primarily for students, everyone of all ages can pick more than one or two things from them. Look at a few of the blog posts submitted in LA Mumar’s blog to see what I mean.

But, finally, in the last day, Saturday, after doing some more work in our Fort building, I ran to the venue and I was able to attend the worship time after the last session.

In response to Ea’s Campus Harvest blog post, I had said:

. . . as great as it is to help in leading people worship, it feels just as good (or even better!) to see the next batch continuing what God did through us. Kahit pa parang nakakapagpatanda pa sa atin. Haha!

And it really did feel great. Actually, it felt amazing. And to top it off, I was able to look around the stadium again. I was able to get a 360 degree view of thousands and thousands of worshippers… and I didn’t have to bother if I was still singing the right lyrics.

Campus Harvest 2003 was great, and every year, it gets better. What more next year?
Campus Harvest 2008 was awesome for me, even though I mostly experienced it from the outside: through photos and podcasts. What more if I was actually there?

Hehe. Campus Harvest Manila just ended, but I’m already excited for next year!

Just to feel Your arms around me
Just to know Your grace has found me
Just to hear Your voice surround me
Calling my name

That is why I live
That is why I move
That is why my heart can not go on without You
That is why I sing
That is why I cry
That is why no other love but You will satisfy

Just to stand beside You knowing
Your promise that You’re never going
Never leaving, always holding
Holding my hand

That is why I live
That is why I move
That is why my heart can not go on without You
That is why I sing
That is why I cry
That is why no other love but You will satisfy
That is why

Just to hear Your voice surround me
Calling my name…

Eventful but deflating.

A storm made life hard for everyone (especially us who still had to go to work despite the fact that the government cancelled all classes and closed offices), deadlines hounded me (so much so that 13-hour shifts have become a regular thing), work had been incredibly intellectually and emotionally draining (even more than usual), I had to “let go” of an employee (who didn’t want to go, but I’ll use the phrase “let go”, anyway), my mother got sick (and it was so very hard to sit there beside her helplessly), and I didn’t get to go to the Mrs. Fields blogger meet thingy (and I probably won’t be able to go to the second Taste Asia meet) that I’ve been waiting for for nearly a month.

Typing out that paragraph just made me feel weak all over again. It wasn’t depressing 24/7, of course, and yes, none of those things made me feel like it was the end of the world or something… But still, it was, like, one after the other day after day and it made my emotional energy go lower and lower, and everything just seemed duller and duller.

But you know what? If I learned anything about unfortunate events, it’s this:

It’s the crappy times in life that make the great times feel even greater.

The stark contrast makes white look brighter, and black look darker. It’s like ice-cold water after a hot day, getting peace and quiet after the neighbor stops the noisy racket, or lounging on a sofa after a long traffic-jammed ride home.

Heh. Just thinking that makes me feel better already.

I’ve been told many times to focus not on the temporary, but instead on the eternal. Heck, I’ve told that to other people, too. But sometimes, I just forget. But when I do remember, it never fails to make me smile.

The trick now is toughing it out till the better times come.

Not that I’m trying, mind you.

And I’m not complaining, either.

I will praise the LORD according to his righteousness: and will sing praise to the name of the LORD most high.
Psalms 7:17

It sort of struck me as weird that even though I’ve heard and read this verse a hundred times already, this is the first time that it had this effect on me. That’s why I knew I had to share it with everyone I know.

At first glance, it may seem that the verse’s focus is on the “I”. Hm. Then again, maybe it is. But for me, for today, the focus is on that four-letter word in caps.

The LORD.
It is HE that is righteous.
It’s HIM that I will praise.
It’s HIM that is most high.
And HE is pleased when I praise HIM.

It hit me like a 10-wheeler truck. Yes, we already know it, as we always sing it in church every week, and we hear it from our leaders and pastors all the time. But we have to be reminded every day.

Not just re-mind-ed, but re-heart-ed.

Yes, I know there is no such word in the English dictionary. Sue me.

But, really. We have to take it to heart every day. Every single second of every single minute of every single day. And when we take that truth to heart, you’ll be like me, in one way or another: grinning like a giddy schoolgirl. Like that teen-ager whose long-time crush spoke to while he flashed his winning smile at her. Yeah, that’s what I feel like right now.

Only better.

WAY better.