unreal
You say goodbye,
I say hello...
Whenever I have a fever, I get delirious. I guess that's only logical, but that's the way it's been since I was a small kid; I always dream of weird things, or even imagine things when I'm lying wide awake in bed. It's not a happy thing to experience, lemme tell ya. It always has something to do with something BIG and something teeny tiny in one setting. Proportions are extremely skewed. For example, I would see myself sitting on a chair, holding a basketball. A HUGE basketball. Like, five meters in diameter kind of huge. Oh, and my chair would look like it was made of toothpicks glued together. Every night -- or every minute, actually, since I sleep practically the whole day when I'm sick -- brought a surreal experience that I just can't describe properly.
When I had a fever last week, I didn't imagine such things, but I think it was worse. What I kept seeing in my dreams over and over and over is myself. Dying. Yes, dying. Since I had just gone through four days of a gruelling cross-registration process, my dreams were of me going to the registrar's office, stepping out of the Engineering building, or getting off a jeepney. And a second after I see myself, I suddenly get hit by a car, collapse in the middle of the road, get shot, or something else equally fatal. That was what was going on in my head for one whole day. It was unnerving, to say the least. I think the only good thing about it is that I knew it wasn't real. Now, that part was a relief. I hate it when dreams feel so real, don't you?
***
Have you ever experienced receiving a text message, and then be absolutely overcome with shock with what you read that you have NO reaction whatsoever aside from numbly sitting there? Have you ever experienced wanting to chuck your cellphone into the thunder and rain outside after the message finally sinks in? Have you ever wanted to have the ability to teleport to the sender's current location just so you could strangle her and demand her to tell the truth?
I thought seeing "big and small" was surreal. I thought repeatedly watching myself die was unnerving. Heck, I thought discovering that one of my friends was pregnant was shocking. Combine all those three, and it still won't compare to finding out that one of your friends died of a heart attack.
You know how, when someone dies in movies, the character who's a friend of that person says, "I was talking to him just minutes ago!" I used to think that, sure, yeah, that's realistic. It's fine to react like that about something surprising. But I guess I finally understand how it feels to be in those shoes. I know I've already experinced death in the family, but...I dunno. It's different when it's a friend, probably because we love people in different ways in different levels of affection.
It's weird, though. I'm not exactly wailing about it, but of course, I'm sad. I guess the reason why it was so surprising is... well, it's a shocker. I mean, no one's prepared for it. Yeah, we all knew he had a slight heart problem, but he hadn't had attacks recently. Sure, he could be under stress, but he really isn't the type to get sick over academics, much less have a heart attack! I mean, he was playing video games when it happened, for crying out loud.
*sigh*
The world sure is full of surprises. And she just lost another great guy who can actually be a cool older brother and an awesome programmer. But, as he would say, quoting the Beatles, obla-di obla-da, life goes on.
Our hat's off to you, man. See ya around.
I don't know why you say goo-bye,
I say hello...
Hello, hello...
I say hello...
Whenever I have a fever, I get delirious. I guess that's only logical, but that's the way it's been since I was a small kid; I always dream of weird things, or even imagine things when I'm lying wide awake in bed. It's not a happy thing to experience, lemme tell ya. It always has something to do with something BIG and something teeny tiny in one setting. Proportions are extremely skewed. For example, I would see myself sitting on a chair, holding a basketball. A HUGE basketball. Like, five meters in diameter kind of huge. Oh, and my chair would look like it was made of toothpicks glued together. Every night -- or every minute, actually, since I sleep practically the whole day when I'm sick -- brought a surreal experience that I just can't describe properly.
When I had a fever last week, I didn't imagine such things, but I think it was worse. What I kept seeing in my dreams over and over and over is myself. Dying. Yes, dying. Since I had just gone through four days of a gruelling cross-registration process, my dreams were of me going to the registrar's office, stepping out of the Engineering building, or getting off a jeepney. And a second after I see myself, I suddenly get hit by a car, collapse in the middle of the road, get shot, or something else equally fatal. That was what was going on in my head for one whole day. It was unnerving, to say the least. I think the only good thing about it is that I knew it wasn't real. Now, that part was a relief. I hate it when dreams feel so real, don't you?
***
Have you ever experienced receiving a text message, and then be absolutely overcome with shock with what you read that you have NO reaction whatsoever aside from numbly sitting there? Have you ever experienced wanting to chuck your cellphone into the thunder and rain outside after the message finally sinks in? Have you ever wanted to have the ability to teleport to the sender's current location just so you could strangle her and demand her to tell the truth?
I thought seeing "big and small" was surreal. I thought repeatedly watching myself die was unnerving. Heck, I thought discovering that one of my friends was pregnant was shocking. Combine all those three, and it still won't compare to finding out that one of your friends died of a heart attack.
You know how, when someone dies in movies, the character who's a friend of that person says, "I was talking to him just minutes ago!" I used to think that, sure, yeah, that's realistic. It's fine to react like that about something surprising. But I guess I finally understand how it feels to be in those shoes. I know I've already experinced death in the family, but...I dunno. It's different when it's a friend, probably because we love people in different ways in different levels of affection.
It's weird, though. I'm not exactly wailing about it, but of course, I'm sad. I guess the reason why it was so surprising is... well, it's a shocker. I mean, no one's prepared for it. Yeah, we all knew he had a slight heart problem, but he hadn't had attacks recently. Sure, he could be under stress, but he really isn't the type to get sick over academics, much less have a heart attack! I mean, he was playing video games when it happened, for crying out loud.
*sigh*
The world sure is full of surprises. And she just lost another great guy who can actually be a cool older brother and an awesome programmer. But, as he would say, quoting the Beatles, obla-di obla-da, life goes on.
Our hat's off to you, man. See ya around.
I don't know why you say goo-bye,
I say hello...
Hello, hello...
Labels: elbi
| in the span of four years... »
Blue. Stars. Sky. Jazz. Choklit. Pasta. Sashimi. Green tea Frapp. Aroma of coffee. Books. Movies. Fanfics. PC. Google. Mobile phone. Mp3 player. Sleep.
Cockroaches. Shopping. Humidity. Migraines.
Luv ya sis. Don't worry. Thing's'll .. umm.. dunno. look better in a few days.
i hope you're well.
Posted by
miii