tonight, i frown
Not that I chose to.
When I'm on either end of the emotional spectrum, I go online. That, or I listen to mp3s with the volume blaring in my ears. OK, so I do that practically all the time, anyways, but that's not the point. The point is this: tonight I am NOT the usual ever-happy, eternally-smiling, genki-genki, hyper Sarah. No.
I can't freaking smile. Believe me, I tried. I can't even smile a fake one. Drat. The reasons for this being:
a) My mom and I got into a fight over something unbelievably shallow. Hm. Nah, I take that back. We didn't get into a fight. She gunned me down while I decided not to speak. I'm not angry at her. Honest. I'm angry at the fact that people get unstable as they grow old. Stupid hormones. The only thing good that came out of this is I got to draw something.
b) I'm not going to graduate this April. After much anticipation and people's praises that I did good, I am not going to march down the aisle to the tune of the Graduation March. And, after getting depressed for two weeks, I actually felt fine about it when I realized that my world shouldn't revolve around the fact that I should graduate on time. It was just my pride, I guess. So I'm fine with it, right? Yeah. For three freaking days. But, in contrast to the other week, I'm not depressed. I'm just saddened. This time, it's not because I'm not going to graduate, but for a different reason. One that I will not disclose in this blog.
c) ... I don't have a third reason.
So... if you notice, the main thing that brought about the selective gravity pulling the corners down to the center of the earth is my 'fight' with my mom. It's so frustrating. I mean, I hadn't cried over anything alone in a long, long time -- mostly there's someone else there with me for support, and I end up feeling better -- and, of all the things to cry about, it's something so shallow. ARGH! Maybe it's because we hadn't had a fight in a while. That's why the impact so great. Or maybe it's because she's my mom. Or maybe it's the two put together.
So I go online to channel my energies elsewhere, right? To get rid of negative vibes...
Well, guess what? I've been online for 4 stupid hours, I've listened to hundreds of mp3s already, and I think I'm getting deaf (not that I actually care).
But I'm still horrendously frowning. So there. Sorry for spreading depressing thoughts, but that's that. But, since you're not me, then you don't have the same circumstances as mine.
Smile.
When I'm on either end of the emotional spectrum, I go online. That, or I listen to mp3s with the volume blaring in my ears. OK, so I do that practically all the time, anyways, but that's not the point. The point is this: tonight I am NOT the usual ever-happy, eternally-smiling, genki-genki, hyper Sarah. No.
I can't freaking smile. Believe me, I tried. I can't even smile a fake one. Drat. The reasons for this being:
a) My mom and I got into a fight over something unbelievably shallow. Hm. Nah, I take that back. We didn't get into a fight. She gunned me down while I decided not to speak. I'm not angry at her. Honest. I'm angry at the fact that people get unstable as they grow old. Stupid hormones. The only thing good that came out of this is I got to draw something.
b) I'm not going to graduate this April. After much anticipation and people's praises that I did good, I am not going to march down the aisle to the tune of the Graduation March. And, after getting depressed for two weeks, I actually felt fine about it when I realized that my world shouldn't revolve around the fact that I should graduate on time. It was just my pride, I guess. So I'm fine with it, right? Yeah. For three freaking days. But, in contrast to the other week, I'm not depressed. I'm just saddened. This time, it's not because I'm not going to graduate, but for a different reason. One that I will not disclose in this blog.
c) ... I don't have a third reason.
So... if you notice, the main thing that brought about the selective gravity pulling the corners down to the center of the earth is my 'fight' with my mom. It's so frustrating. I mean, I hadn't cried over anything alone in a long, long time -- mostly there's someone else there with me for support, and I end up feeling better -- and, of all the things to cry about, it's something so shallow. ARGH! Maybe it's because we hadn't had a fight in a while. That's why the impact so great. Or maybe it's because she's my mom. Or maybe it's the two put together.
So I go online to channel my energies elsewhere, right? To get rid of negative vibes...
Well, guess what? I've been online for 4 stupid hours, I've listened to hundreds of mp3s already, and I think I'm getting deaf (not that I actually care).
But I'm still horrendously frowning. So there. Sorry for spreading depressing thoughts, but that's that. But, since you're not me, then you don't have the same circumstances as mine.
Smile.
| 3D »
Blue. Stars. Sky. Jazz. Choklit. Pasta. Sashimi. Green tea Frapp. Aroma of coffee. Books. Movies. Fanfics. PC. Google. Mobile phone. Mp3 player. Sleep.
Cockroaches. Shopping. Humidity. Migraines.
*hug sarah*
So the grad thing is why you wanted to chat-rant one day? I'm sorry I wasn't home at the time. :(
I'm thinking the "fight" just triggered something. You know, so many built up negativeness you never knew were there do have get out at one point or another. It happens to us "ever-happy, eternally-smiling, genki-genki, hyper" people.
I think the last time I cried was after watching Spirited Away.. and I don't know why!! I just locked myself in the bathroom and suddenly cried... XÞ
Posted by
ame
Umm....
*patpat&hughug*
There's this possibility that I won't get accepted in Educ... ^^; I wouldn't even be able to think of graduating when I'm not sure if I'd be accepted.
Cheer up dear. ^_^ We all love you, whatever happens. "If God put you to it, He'll pull you through it." ... or something like that.
<3 ^_^
Posted by
miii
what is life without its complication? boring.
"what" is Sarah without her smile?
...well you get my point. :P
kaya yan. :)
Posted by
random error