Comparison
I flipped through my old journal this morning, and I felt totally rebuked by my old self. Seriously. Most of the writings there were about my "adventures" as I "struggled" with academics, but now that I look at my grades, I actually did pretty well!
Man, the discontent I had then simply amazes me. I was striving to be much better because I knew I could do better.
Other writings included my ministry at church. I wsa more active in church then than I am now, and I was still doing great in acads?! ... Was that even me?
Of course, anime was still present along with my ramblings as a webmistress, but they were just the side notes...small, random rants or raves inserted in between the real content of the entry. Whole entries about anime was a rare case.
It really struck me how focused I was then. I knew what I was doing, what I was supposed to be doing, and when to do it. And I DID it on schedule. You can't justify that blogging, writing on my journal, or Blue Star, for that matter, was a distraction because, at that time, I wrote practically every day, and I there were always little snippets about Blue Star updates (and new about my sites, sometimes).
But don't get me wrong, my self-esteem isn't plummeting into oblivion. I still think I'm a better person now than I was before. I maintain that I learn something new everyday. I just have to reassess my priorities and realign it with God's. There are several aspects in my life I have to change, fix, or maybe even "System Restore".
My devotional today tackled getting deployed in the battlefield. That when we become Christians, when I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior, I had enlisted to be in His Army (whereas, before, I was a civillian that the Dark Side is trying to steal from Heaven). I realized that I haven't been on the battlefield lately. I was under the tree, resting in the shade, pretending to have fainted, but am actually chatting with the medic.
What we had studied in PI100 about biographies was accurate, I reckon. That you can take a successul person's biography and study it so you can be like her. In my case right now, I am the reader, and the successful person is my sophomore self. The only difference is I don't study the successful person't life. Instead, I examine it to surpass her.
if I offended anyone, sorry na lang.
Man, the discontent I had then simply amazes me. I was striving to be much better because I knew I could do better.
Other writings included my ministry at church. I wsa more active in church then than I am now, and I was still doing great in acads?! ... Was that even me?
Of course, anime was still present along with my ramblings as a webmistress, but they were just the side notes...small, random rants or raves inserted in between the real content of the entry. Whole entries about anime was a rare case.
It really struck me how focused I was then. I knew what I was doing, what I was supposed to be doing, and when to do it. And I DID it on schedule. You can't justify that blogging, writing on my journal, or Blue Star, for that matter, was a distraction because, at that time, I wrote practically every day, and I there were always little snippets about Blue Star updates (and new about my sites, sometimes).
But don't get me wrong, my self-esteem isn't plummeting into oblivion. I still think I'm a better person now than I was before. I maintain that I learn something new everyday. I just have to reassess my priorities and realign it with God's. There are several aspects in my life I have to change, fix, or maybe even "System Restore".
My devotional today tackled getting deployed in the battlefield. That when we become Christians, when I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior, I had enlisted to be in His Army (whereas, before, I was a civillian that the Dark Side is trying to steal from Heaven). I realized that I haven't been on the battlefield lately. I was under the tree, resting in the shade, pretending to have fainted, but am actually chatting with the medic.
What we had studied in PI100 about biographies was accurate, I reckon. That you can take a successul person's biography and study it so you can be like her. In my case right now, I am the reader, and the successful person is my sophomore self. The only difference is I don't study the successful person't life. Instead, I examine it to surpass her.
if I offended anyone, sorry na lang.
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